I’m really trying my hardest to help one of my friends but it’s so hard she doesn’t listen to my…

This is mind blowing.

Stop giving her money.

She needs to file for assistance.

They as a couple need to cut down and prioritize.

Stop letting people take advantage of you.

It's hard, but doable to both work without daycare. It sucks ass, I work 5pm/6pm-2am 4 days a week while their dad works morning-4pm. You're a great friend but i agree with pp, youre being taken advantage of.

Very easy stop giving her money. Eventually she’ll get the memo and start doing what’s necessary to take care of her family. Being a stay at home mom is for families that can afford it if her husbands income is barely cutting it she needs to stop making excuses and get her ass up and find a job. Find a family member who can watch the kids or they can work opposite hours so one person can stay with the children but he shouldn’t have to work like a slave just to barely make means meet if she’s not even working herself and continuously uses a excuse that can easily be solved because affordable childcare isn’t hard to find these days.

Does her husband know you’re giving her money....? Please stop. There’s no reason for her to work when you and her husband both support her. You should be on their next Christmas card. You should get to claim her as a dependent 😂

You’re reinforcing her/their behavior because you keep sending her money. Cut it out and then see how she acts.

I wish I had a friend like you. Just stop...I couldn't imagine giving an able-bodied married woman an allowance each week 😳

Random honest opinion;? You are practically paying her to be lazy. Maybe if you stop giving her money, then she'll come to understand your point. Nobody gives some "$400" a month to someone who's not even willing to work on their own. Maybe you need to stop making her think she can JUST rely on you.🤦🏻‍♀️

Honestly hun🤷🏻‍♀️

I get you want to be a good friend especially when there’s children involved but under the circumstances you’ve said; STOP GIVING HER MONEY. You’re enabling it. Now I can tell you have a big heart but sometimes you just have to put your foot down for yourself and for your own family.

She’s a more of a capable adult to go get a job. You’ve even sent her many opportunities that she is refusing.

My parents worked separate shifts to make it work. My dad was morning and my mom worked nights. Yes it was hard but you do what you gotta do.

Where there is a will there is a way.

She obviously has no will.

Your intentions are good, but the reality is, you're enabling her to stay home and to abuse your relationship. Whether intentional or not(obviously I don't know her so don't mean to be rude, but stating what I see) she is taking advantage of you. The only right thing to do is to cut her off. You did not make those babies with her. It is not your responsibility to pay their way. They need to take responsibility and make good choices. Taking your money is not a good choice. It's selfish and rude. A hand up is one thing, but taking advantage and expecting a hand out is ridiculous!!! Sorry mama. Cut her off and if she is still around in the long run you can say it was a learning experience for both of you, but if not, you'll be saving yourself more stress and unwarranted pain down the road. $400x6(months)=$2,400. One year would be $4,800. How better could you use that sum of money for your own needs and children's future???

Ofcourse she won’t take your advice, since she doesn’t want to jeopardize her free cash flow. There’s always ways to cut back on spending money and saving if she doesn’t want to work a little. Don’t let her keep taking advantage of your kindness.

Are they actually struggling or she just wishes she had more spending money? Is she late on bills and doesn’t have enough food to eat? If you want to help, maybe get her some groceries instead of giving her cash. I have never given anyone in my family cash and I never will. If they’re starving I’ll give them something to eat, but I am not an ATM. She should also be getting government assistance like WIC and food stamps right?

At this point you're not a friend to her. Friends do not encourage and enable each other to be self destructive. You aren't helping her at this point. You know, she could have worked and the money you give her could be used to pay for child care.

Why don’t they work opposite shifts so child care isn’t needed ....

Fuk that I’d just ignore all that and be like well sucks for you ... can’t save everyone kinda like my aunt she’s 77 and her three sons run shit at her house and tear everything up and won’t kick them out smfh some ppl don’t want help just hand outs 🤦‍♀️🥴 why would she if your giving her money I bet she would disappear if you didn’t play into it

There are zero excuses for her situation. She chose to stay at home and make babies, now she’s limited in her resources due to all those children and now she’s using you as a means and a scapegoat to avoid working. I absolutely do not respect that and she needs to be cut off and redirected.

My father was a single parent up in WA, their mother chooses not to work and be a dependent and try to raise money for others to buy her land she can live on. She doesn’t even pay child support now!My father had to work so he did what he needed to do, at 60 years old.

He had a childcare voucher when he lived up there and found someone to take care of the kids. My dad worked at the university and his shift was 4am-1pm. The childcare person came over at 3:30am and got the kids on the bus to school every morning. He was there every afternoon when the kids got off the bus. While they were school aged and it wasn’t a pandemic the point of the matter is he got it done. It’s not impossible to have multiple kids and get childcare. Yes, that voucher is a pain in the ass as far as finding care but if my 60 plus year old father could do it for his kids, so can a much younger mother.

Pocket your money and only point her to resources so she can work. See how quickly your budget improves. See if that friendship was true and it lasts.

That’s insane, just STOP!! She’s definitely taking advantage of you.

What is she spending the money on?!