Question: what do you mommas think? Although it’s already been over a month of my father in laws…
Question: what do you mommas think? Although it’s already been over a month of my father in laws passing, my mil and my sil aren’t going to celebrate Christmas due to my father in law passing. Just yesterday I was given a free “wreath” the ones you put on your front door. So I put in on for my mil door, and guess what? My sil threw it out and said that they didn’t need it because they weren’t gonna celebrate Christmas! It broke my heart when she threw it out and I wasn’t informed until I had saw the wreath on the floor. Was I being to harsh for giving my mil the wreath even though my fil passing was over a month ago?
Marie·
Everyone processes death differently, they sound angry . I think what you did was thoughtful and what she did was mean . If anything death should remind you not to take anyone for granted cause tomorrow is never promised. At least you have peace in your heart knowing you tried .
Celia C··
In a way she was mean because I had told my mil ahead that I was planning on getting it. She had even said herself that it was ok. But once when the daughter saw it, she took it off.
mybabybear ·
Мама сына (6 лет)
I don’t think you were being harsh or negative in anyway. But as PP said, everyone processes these things differently. Just accept their wishes and celebrate the holiday in your own and personal way.
watz·
I don't know if being "too harsh" is the right word to describe it, since you're heart was in the right place, but let's be clear you definitely overstepped a boundary in doing what you did.
If they both already told you that they weren't celebrating Christmas, you should have respected that.
It doesn't matter, if your father-in-law passed away a month ago, or a year ago, or even a week ago.
You don't get to decide how much time is appropriate for someone else to grieve.
Personally, it took me close to 5 years to come to terms with my own father's death.
I was well into the anger part of my grief, a month after his death. If you would have done something like that to me, no matter how well intentioned you were trying to be, I can tell you, that throwing away the wreath was not the only thing I would have done. I would have probably slapped you too.
Linden··
THIS. 100% this. This is my 2nd Christmas without my Dad and last year we didn't do ANY of the decorating or happy stuff we used to. It hurt TOO much to do it without him. This year is still going to be hard but it's better than last so we're gettin there.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
watz··
@leonardsquared thanks I'm also sorry for your loss.
My daddy has been gone for a long time now, he was 51 when he died and I was 21. This will be our 22nd Christmas without him here and it's still hard.
I have a special ornament that reminds me of him that I place on my Christmas tree, it's my way of including him in our holiday celebration and honoring his memory.
Linden··
I keep an empty seat cause I KNOW he's there watchin us. I cry every time I pull one out for him.
M0MM·
Everyone heals differently. I’d be pissed for my own feelings, but also heartbroken and understanding of theirs. If they don’t want to celebrate, let them get through the holidays
Mama Coco·
After my grandpa died in 1999, my mom has never been able to celebrate Christmas the same way again. 😢
Celia C··
I am very sorry for your loss....Xmas will never be the same without our loved ones
🪴📚·
I know you meant well but you have to respect their wishes and their grieving process.
Amanda·
Мама троих детей
I think that was incredibly rude of her to do.i think they should still celebrate Christmas..... My aubela passed the December and that never stopped my dad from celebrating Christmas.
Linden··
@watz, This is my experience also. I think I was prepared to lose my Grandparents had time to have those conversations with them and make my peace with it.
Your parent though.... that's an ENTIRELY different ballgame. A game that NO ONE understands until their forced to play. I don't think I'm EVER gonna be able to think of my Dad and NOT have a deep ache in my heart, or cry. I WANT to be in a place where I smile when I think of him, but idk when or if that is ever possible.
Here's to hoping girl. 🤞 I am so genuinely sorry that you know what this feels like Mama. 😘
Linden··
@watz, Also...101 WOW! That's freaking AMAZING! Can you IMAGINE the life they saw?? I could listen for HOURS! 😍
watz··
@leonardsquared I asked my grandmother once what was the most amazing modern invention that she experienced in her lifetime... I thought she was going to say the internet, television or even the automobile or something of that ilk, because she had a myspace account at the time and was trying to learn to speak Mandarin on her computer. She also loved her TV shows and watched every Tennis match that was televised, and she loved long cross country road trips.
She thought about my question for awhile and then said "hot and cold running water". Which suprised and humbled me. I never once thought about how truly revolutionary and life changing indoor plumbing would have been. Hot and cold running water is definitely something I had taken for granted up until that point in time.
Grandpa also had some awesome stories about working on Mt. Rushmore during the depression.