I have given birth 4 times and besides the first 2 I have been so nervous to labor & deliver and I have no idea why and it's usually a quick 3 pushes for Me and then Baby is out but this time I'm more anxious than I was with Ava and this Baby is weighing alot less than Her. As I think about it and what My birthing experience will be is scaring and stressing Me out especially because I'm going to ask them to tie My tubes this time! I'm excited for a Newborn Baby because they are so snuggly and cute and I will cherish the moment but it just freaks Me out to know that in 4 months I will be giving birth for the 5th and final time and it's tearing Me up!😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰🥰🤰🏾
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.
Birth Plan Rant
I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have an unmedicated birth (this is my first baby). What annoys me is when I say that I'm going to TRY my hardest to have a natural and unmedicated birth people always feel the need to say that I'm crazy or that I'm going to change my mind when I get in that position. Or that epidurals are the best. I do realize that plans change, but why can't people be supportive and encouraging?
Well it's 4am again...husband is at another bar. Told him at 1 I want to go to the hospital because of the cramps I'm having. He keeps turning his phone on to text on whatsapp but then turns it off. He won't answer my calls or texts. I'm sitting at home crying in pain. This is the 3rd time in less than 2 months and the last time was less than a week ago. I need to move back to Ohio. It's final.
Does your baby father tell you what time to be home like have a curfew ? Because really I'm not a child and I'm not going out drinking or partying it was a child play day and unplanned so of course I didn't wash the dishes if I had known I would of cleaned in advance and cooked but seriously he took it too personal saying I'm in the street all day and it's the last time I do this really do I look ten years old to him ?
I get teary thinking about it ... Super exciting