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I need to vent for a minute and this may be long so feel fr…

I need to vent for a minute and this may be long so feel free to scroll on lol

My freaking MIL drives me crazy. My fiances dad got out of prison recently. They are divorced. He was an addict and made her life hard and she was a cheater who made his hard. She hates him. And he doesnt like her much either but he doesnt really speak badly about her and has always pushed my fiance to have a relationship with her. She on the other hand will talk about him badly anytime his name comes up. She took it upon herself to text him and tell him he cant see my kids because "she's not losing her time with them just because hes out of jail" shes also been bugging us almost daily about keeping them overnight. The answer has been no every time. For one thing she lives 45 minutes away at one house and the other is over an hour. She tends to pay more attention to her phone or whatever it is she is doing than the kids. Amd tried to make them do things they dont want Hondo so she can get photos of them and ends up ticking them off. My son is wild. Hes always into things and tends to hurt himself climbing and being the wild little boy that he is. If he were to get hurt and need to go to the ER we would be almost an hour away. She decided to text my grandmother (she watches my son while i work) and ask HER if she could keep him overnight. She thinks that she deserves all of the kids time on the weekends. We work during the week and dont have visitors much so we save weekends for family time. She thinks she should be the only one to see them on the weekends. She forgets that the kids have other family who want to see them too. And now shes driving me nuts texting me telling me shes their grandma and should be allowed to keep them overnight and spoil them like a regular grandparent. I have seen her boyfriend try to give my son who was one year old at the time a gobbstopper and hard candies that he can't have. He for some reason likes to try and take him on walks alone and has snuck off with him. We don't know him very well and it makes me uncomfortable. We let her keep him overnight once and he came back with weird rashes/scabs in between his legs. When asked she said she didnt notice them and that it might have been from the couch because its a ruff material. Either way it was strange to me. Both my fiance and i dont fully trust her alone with him because she is so easily distracted. My fiance and her got into a big argument yesterday after he found out she was texting his dad that he cant see the kids and asking my grandma to let her keep them. She text me afterwords saying shes just going to stay away. My response was that that was her decision and she can come over and see them whenever she likes but shes going to have to put up with the fact that there may be other people here too. We are having the holidays here and everyone is invited and i expect everyone to remain civil around my children or they will have to leave. And i know shes going to be mad about it when she finds out we are doing it at our house cuz Shes going to want to do it at hers. Shes basically trying to guilt trip me and its pissing me off at this point. Its either her way or "she wont come around anymore" and i got to the point where i told her off. They are MY kids so things will be done how I want them done and if she doesnt come over anymore that is her choice and she would have no one to blame but herself for not seeing them. She has been horrible to me in the past and i let it go so my kids could know their grandma. And boy is she making me regret it right now.


— The fact she’s asking other people if she can take YOUR kids for the weekend is fucking ridiculous. And how she’s telling your father-in-law how he can’t have your kids...?! Excuse me what? Unless she has 100% custody or even half she shouldn’t be talking at all about WHO gets your children.
The whole giving candy to the little kid is a huge hell no too.
And the scrapes and scabs on your son that she doesn’t know how he got it?
Nope nope. I tell her straight out she has no say in what my children do and especially the fact she can’t even watch them right.
Block, avoid, distance her. She sounds overly controlling.

— Thank you!! Shes acting like I'm being crazy! She said its not normal for grandparents not to keep their grandkids overnight on weekends. But that's my only time off normally. So i want to spend that time with my kids. My FIL isint the greatest person in the world either. But he has not been and never will be with my kids unsupervised. And if hes making an effort to be in their lives im not gunna stop that. Hes good to them they love him and if he wasnt it would be different. He comes over and spends every second playing with them. She on the other hand is on her phone half the time. And her boyfriend just gives me weird vibes. Not to mention im pretty sure she met him through a female escort website. Not 100% positive but no one knows what her "side job" really is other than its late nights and mostly involves men and shell come home with close to a grand in her pocket. And that's how she met him. Its not like im telling her she cant see them. Ive told her multiple times she can come here. She told me its hard for her cuz we have cats and they mess with her sinuses. Yet she has a cat🙄 and everytime she has been here shes had zero problems picking them up and petting them. Its just another excuse for her to get them overnight. She said something about not giving us any money. She helped me with my electric bill over a year ago. I work my ass off to provide for my family. Im about to just wash my hands of her. I just don't get why shes pushing so hard for it all of a sudden.

— That’s weird she’s taking it too far acting like if she’s the parent smh 🤦🏻‍♀️ and then finding scabs and things in between his legs and Also the boyfriend sneaking out with ur son that’s hella weird and I’d definitely not want my kids around them at all 😤

— I dont mind her coming to visit them. Ive always told her shes welcome over here. Her boyfriend is just weird. Hes gives me strange vibes. The last time we invited her over he came too and we were painting pumpkins. I went to help my daughter get more paint and next thing i know the boyfriend and my son were gone. We all went looking for them and walked around the circle twice before finding them. He was fine but I was mad as hell. And she acted like it was no big deal they just went for a walk. And maybe that's all it is idk. But im not gunna trust someone i hardly know with my kid. Not to mention her last boyfriend made moves on her daughter so shes not the best judge of character.

— @catfish2220, oh hell no 🤨 exactly why I don’t trust people around my kids except my mom and siblings and step dad

— @flamingfiremom my grandma is the only person i trust to watch them. Shes only 15 minutes from me and i know she fallows all of our rules no questions asked and she's always on top of whatever they need. Im so lucky i have her honestly. And people think I'm terrible for leaving them with their great grandmother while i work but my family has kids young so shes not as old as people think lol.

— I would definitely put distance there, she is seriously overstepping her boundaries and I wouldn't trust her alone with them either. And this overnight stuff is just ridiculous. Kids have their own safe beds and need to be in them at night.

— @catfish2220 I'd be very concerned and firm on the "NO". I'm getting the creeps from what you shared about her and the boyfriend. I would invite her to visit but would NOT allow my children alone with her and he would not be invited unless it was a public gathering. If even then. It would be different if you knew and trusted them and had a good relationship but this makes me want to run. Sorry you're in such a tough position.

— @xryztalroze I told her that she can come over here and that is it. We will be having the holidays here and she is welcome to come but there will be no overnights. She said my cats bother her sinuses so she doesnt want to come around cuz it makes it hard for her. Yet she has a cat and her boyfriend has two. She wont be alone with my kids. Especially after this. So shes either gunna have to suck it up and come here or not see them at all.

— @catfish2220 Good to hear! Please be careful... Her bf sounds like a huge risk and that's putting it kindly. And the pushier she is towards this the harder I'd pull back. I'd sit and have a very detailed, lay it on the line, here are my expectations kind of talk and if she walks let her go. If she sees where you're coming from, even if she doesn't like it, then give her the chance to come around on your terms still. Just please, I know I'm repeating myself, but just please be careful and keep your children in sight at all times!!!! I'm scared for them. The best of wishes and prayers for continued safety for you and your family!!!