Would you date a man that’s married but in the process of getting a divorce? My friend has been dating this guy for 2 months and he just told her that he’s in the middle of getting a divorce and that it won’t be finalized for 8 months to a year due to property and money. She’s worried about what friends and family will think of her. What do you think good advice would be to give? They both are 22 his wife is 30 and they also have a 2 year old baby together.
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That'd be a deal breaker for me. If he's SO hot for me and wants a future....he will feel the same in 8 months. Otherwise, go talk to your wife bro.
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Yeah if I actually seen proof I wouldn’t give af ...but I’m not gonna play in no drama the bitch would have to be cut off and only for the kids been there done that 😂 I would block any girl he’s knows and leave it at that fuk that mess they got divorced probably for them same reason he can’t get pussy
Yeah, I'd have to sit that one out and watch from a safe distance. I would be a little in the feelings about him revealing that he's married 2 months into dating, that would make me question a lot if things, I think omitting isn't very far from telling lies. When I was 22, I didn't do married men, men kinda married, men with children or men who were divorced... I was 22, I felt like I didn't need those kind of stressors in my life.
1) how did a 22 yr old end up with a 30 yr old cougar? 2) do they have a custody agreement, or is that going to be added drama? 3) property and money but living with his mom? Sounds fishy. 4) If he likes her enough he would wait the eight months finalize the divorce and start shit right.
My dad did this after he left my mom. Didn’t even file for divorce until much later. Kept everything a secret from most people. It was an awful situation to be on the other side of. But even then I was less upset at him having a girlfriend than I was at his lies. I wasn’t surprised when he left my mom and knew the relationship was done, even if it wasn’t legally there yet. As long as this guy is honest and up front with your friend, it’s really her personal preference on what she can tolerate.
My husband was married when we met. They’d been separated for a year by then. She took their baby and hid in another state for 6 months until she got residency and he was working with an attorney for rights, which he finally got. It took awhile to go through mediation and the final court date before it was all over. I’d be careful, but every situation is different.
I did 🤷🏾♀️ I was 19. He’s was 25. They were separated and he was in his own place. It only took a few months (like 4) we were just getting to know each other though, nothing serious till all was final. Depends on the situation really, it can work out for some
Its definitely a personal preference kind of thing if you ask me.
If shes comfortable with that, then cool.
If shes not comfortable with that, then cool.
Its definitely a tricky situation to put yourself into IMO but if someone is up for the challenge, then more power to them I guess.
At 22...no. That is already too much baggage. But if she’s okay with it then she should go for it. She shouldn’t care that much what others think. It’s her life. I would have more of a problem with being two months into dating and just finding out about it. That’s odd to me!
I’m technically still married. Haven’t spoken to him in 7 years and I don’t have the money to file. My bf is technically married as well. And his ex is with someone else too. So I don’t see the big deal as long as it’s been made clear the married couple are not still together and the one dating is not cheating. I’m also not religious so I see it as just a paper.
At 22? Absolutely not. I likely wouldn’t at my age either, but definitely not at 22. Who wants that relationship baggage at that age?
Absolutely NOT. I knew someone very close to me who started dating a man in this situation. He showed paperwork, met the soon to be ex, she confirmed his story, and they were in what the girl thought was a serious relationship for almost 2 years. The whole time he was with the wife, her, and another girl. The third girl got in touch with her told her everything and she didn't believe it. Then the man's sister and mother contacted her. It wasn't until they were on vacation together that she finally accepted the truth bc of his phone and information on it. He still tried to deny everything and she almost lost everything due to the situation. Nothing is worth putting yourself in such a situation. Just be prepared bc if your friend is anything like the girl I knew she won't listen to reason. Stay clear.
It’s crazy because I said a similar scenario like this to her just giving her examples of things that could happen. I see this going wrong in so many ways
@ajaecymone184 Yes, sadly. Tell her you love her and want what is best for her but you can't with clear conscience support her decision to be with him at the moment. If in the future when he is clear and free to date her and it works out you will be happy for them but for the time being you must separate yourself from the situation with him.
@ajaecymone184, SO many ways and MOST of those scenarios end with your friend being the one hurt.
Build a friendship. If she’s available after a year then maybe.
Nope 🤷🏻♀️ I would tell him when his divorce is final and if I am still single maybe we could talk
@michellemybell09, That's my main concern too. So just because this is LEGALLY wrapped up in 8 months, that means you're ready to get RIGHT back into a serious, committed relationship?? I think I'd have to take a step back. Or at the VERY least, things would progress very slowly and with extreme caution!
@ajaecymone184, I have heard of the seperation rule before. I think it's not all states though, but idk. I just think there'd be SOMETHIN that bothered me about him being in such a hurry to get serious again.
From his point of view though, if he made it to the point that he actually moved out, the relationship was probably over for him months prior to that and this last little bit is merely logistics. 🤷♀️
Still logistics I'd rather play out withOUT me involved!
Especially with a kid or kids involved, double deal breaker for me. Sorry if that makes me shitty but I wouldn't date a guy that already has kids, is married, in the process of getting divorced, "seperated" or.... is shorter than me. 🤷♀️ May be shallow, shitty or WHATEVER you wanna call it, that's just me and I won't apologize for it! 🤣
@ekko, I'm not TALL perse but I'm not a cutesy lil 5'2" bubble of happiness either. Lmfao! I'm almost 5'8", so really kinda average I think.
She can look up the paperwork herself in most counties....but personally I wouldn't it's just too messy when people are fresh off the divorce boat.
That'd be a deal breaker for me. If he's SO hot for me and wants a future....he will feel the same in 8 months. Otherwise, go talk to your wife bro.
The fact that he told her makes me think that he’s mature and serious about it. I know some men at that age would probably lie and not admit to it until they are caught. However, it’s a no for me. I personally would not want to get involved but I don’t see a problem with her continuing the relationship especially if he shows paperwork or she can talk to the wife to confirm. Also I don’t think it’s anyone’s business as far as family and friends goes. It’s not information that needs to be volunteered and if brought up that’s the only time I feel it’s necessary to address.
I agree the honesty was very mature of him and I told her the same that it’s not her family or friends business but it’s weird he’s already pursuing something new and barely starting the process for the divorce
@ajaecymone184, and 22? She doesn’t need that kind of baggage so young she just needs to find someone with a less complicated life
First she should see paperwork to prove it’s in process and no not sure how fast is too fast to see someone new “when the divorce paperwork isn’t completed ! It’s a No for me !
@ajaecymone184, where does he live also ? Still in the house with the wife ? Most women who date married men usually get hurt feelings and should realize their is usually another side chic too
@sherrynygirl, They we’re living with his mom so he still lives at home the wife moved out.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
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Especially with a kid or kids involved, double deal breaker for me. Sorry if that makes me shitty but I wouldn't date a guy that already has kids, is married, in the process of getting divorced, "seperated" or.... is shorter than me. 🤷♀️ May be shallow, shitty or WHATEVER you wanna call it, that's just me and I won't apologize for it! 🤣