Мамлайф — приложение для современных мам

I've always lived in the north east. I've moved around the …

I've always lived in the north east. I've moved around the NE, just NY and NJ. It's cold there, and expensive, and I've considered moving on many occasions. Interestingly, I've always been aware that when moving, there are some places I would not be welcomed, even in the NE. Or rather, I'd feel as though I'm not welcomed.

I couldn't see myself living in Texas or Tennessee, or Louisiana, etc, for reasons that I believe are glaringly obvious. Reasons rooted in fear, the pursuit of happiness, and the will to survive and live to be the ripe old age of a million! Not just for me, but for my family too, and especially for the male individuals in my family. Just move to a quiet, ain't nothing jumping off out here type of place.

Then I always think, "well, that place IS safe... but, is it safe for me," 😩 I wanna go live in rural Georgia, that has a LCOL (low cost of living,) or take up residence in a suburb of Kentucky (lol)... actually, I want to move anywhere, I want to be able to move anywhere without the fear of being harmed. Without the fear of... living in fear.

Sometimes I think I'm crazier than I am afraid, lol. I think fear has been moved up a notch, just 1 notch, higher than crazy since I've become a mom. It's my responsibility to give my child a childhood. I'm responsible for always trying to make sure my child is safe, and happy and fulfilled. And that alone makes me tell my crazy to calm down, makes me take a lot less risks than I normally would. It makes me think things through more completely, and consider and reconsider, before I take a dive, head first, hoping I don't hit pavement, or concrete, but... water.

I think I'll risk it though, Kentucky, Kansas, Texas, Georgia, these might very well be great places to raise a family and grow... if not, we tried 🤷🏿‍♀️

Poor spelling, bad grammar, undertones, run on sentences, incomplete thoughts, complaining, circumlocution, excessive use of ellipses (I like using these 😂)? They're all probably there, oh well 😂


— I grew up in CT and was shocked when I left the tristate area how openly prejudiced some people were. I never heard anyone use slurs or say anything outwardly racist but definitely heard them say things that showed their bias and prejudices — things that made my mouth drop open and things I never would’ve heard where I lived in CT. (Not just racial things but also about LGBTQ as well.) I moved out of the NE about 9 years ago and that was a huge culture shock. Some people are even more openly racist and homophobic here.

NE will always be considered home to me & it’s my comfort zone so I will admit I’m a little biased to thinking it’s a pretty great place to live and have a family, despite being expensive. Anyway, a lot of rambling here but just sharing that this white girl was blown away by things I’ve heard or seen outside of the NE & I think your worries are justified.

— I feel like NE will always be home. It's crazy the type of things you see and you hear at times, especially when you're used to things being a certain way


Here ya go. This is one of the latest.

— I'm going to check this out!

— I totally get this, but I’m a west coast native. I’ve traveled the US and the world and a private nurse so I’ve seen a lot. Had experiences in the south with the police where I was made to feel less than human. Deciding where to live is very hard, especially as POC.
7 years ago, we started looking at other places to live. The Bay Area and NY are similar in cost of living and we were getting tired of making great money and not seeing it. We considered the top 10 cities for African Americans to thrive back then. Almost everything was in the south or on the East Coast. While we considered a few cities I have family in and checked them out, I realized I’m way too liberal for most of the US, and I have real fears for my husband and son in other parts of the country. In the end, I kept my liberal self on the liberal west coast. I feel safer here than I do in most of the country. Texas, OK, KY, FL...you could feel the racism way too much and I just couldn’t.
Now I’m glad we stayed where we are because we now live in the number one area for African Americans to thrive and be successful in the US. We did move, but from The Bay to the State Capital where rent is half as much. I ended up in one of the best places in the country for children with autism, I’m still in a liberal hot spot, and we didn’t lose that much money moving here. Matter of fact the tax rate is 2.25% less than 100 miles away.
It’s a tough decision but in the end you do what’s best for your family unit...

— Thank you! Here in the east, the racism is not so barefaced and bold. But I know it's not like that every where, and I would worry about my son, and husband. Myself too, because I'm not immune from the experience

— I’ve lived all over and I like Oklahoma best lol cheap and lots of country I dont care for Florida

— I hadn't even considered OK! I'll have to check it out. No one wants to live in Florida, lol

— @thatregalmujer, yea we’re not feeling it I mean it’s nice but idk I like the small town feel we’re looking in other states as well

— I just moved out of Louisville KY. It’s a nice place. The rent is still high as hell for anything nice though. Well high to me lol probably not compared to NY rent. It feels like there’s nothing to do either when you’re broke 😂😂 I’m in Alabama now and it’s hotter than the deepest pits of hell but the people here are super friendly and the rent is cheap. There’s hella crackheads though. There’s pros and cons everywhere. I’ve always wanted to move to NYC. It’s one of those fast cities that keeps you on your toes and my adrenaline junkie ass loves it lol there’s also like anything you could ever imagine there. I can’t afford no fucking $5K a month for an apartment though.

— Really? I was looking at Owensboro KY, and the houses were cheap, compared to NJ/NY prices. I've never lived in NYC, just close enough to enjoy it, but far enough to be able to save, so I can enjoy it 😂 maybe NYC might be in your future! On the outskirts. Somewhere where there's a bus or train that runs right into Manhattan.

Crackheads in Alabama, there's plenty in NYC too 😂😂

— @thatregalmujer, Girl don’t move to Owensboro KY. Everyone there is so weird. Like I don’t know how to explain it. They’re just... country people that think they’re city and it’s fucking weird 😂 you’d do good in Louisville or Lexington. Maybe Bowling Green. Lol I don’t have an issue with crackheads too much except out here it’s so small you can’t get the fuck away from them when you want to 😂

— I’ve only ever lived in the South, and even with military moves, we have stayed in the South. I grew up in Georgia and have moved to North Carolina, Alabama, and Florida (where I currently live). My husband grew up in Detroit, and he wants to stay down South when he retires. He loves it and was glad to get away from the winters.

I’m sorry you are afraid though, but I understand. I can’t speak from experience with most of that, because frankly I am a white woman. But I can say my husband is black, and as an interracial couple, we have not yet lived in a place where we (or him) felt unsafe. I say “not yet” because I’m not naive and I know not everyone has the same experience in all places down south (or anywhere for that matter). That’s a sad reality. I’m hope that wherever you choose to move, you have a great experience and find an amazing place to raise your family. ❤️

— Sometimes I feel so crazy for having this fear, smh. I feel like anywhere you live, if you don't bother people, people won't bother you. I'm with your husband, leave those winters in the past! Lol. I might end up in GA, and was looking at houses in different areas, I don't wanna be in Atlanta, but close enough to enjoy the A, lol. I see some places in the bushes 😂 and I'm like, can I live here, lol

All the best to you and your husband, and thank you guys for your service! ❤

— I understand. NE is my comfort zone. I do not see myself living anywhere else. I’ve lived in FL for a short period of my adult life before having a child and hated it.
I was only there for studies. Once I graduated, I went back up NE for good. You do and go where it is beneficial for you and your family👍

— I've never been to Fla, and one in my fam wants to live there, they're all like "hurricanes, blaw.." like we don't have our own natural disaster problems here, smh

— @thatregalmujer, hurricanes do tend to go up North lately.

— It really sucks that you’re afraid to move somewhere but I can understand that right now of course. Come move to the suburbs outside of Philly. You’re always welcomed here!!

— We were looking into PA too, but not philly. I don't like big city, but like living close enough to the big city to visit.

— @thatregalmujer, that’s where we are. About 45-60mins outside of Philly.

— Have you considered Michigan or Ohio? Depending on where you go, the cost of living is pretty low. You’d still have winter like the Northeast, but it sure is beautiful in my state. If you want to be in a metropolitan area, Grand Rapids, MI is nice. I can appreciate your concerns, though.

— I hate the winter 😂 it's so messy, and cold. I think snow is for kids 😬😅 once you have to go out there and shovel it so you can leave the house, or so someone doesn't fall on your property, it becomes a chore 😆

I know someone who's been toying with the idea of moving to OH, if they move I'll get some information. I've never considered Michigan though, for some reason I felt the winters were worse, lol

— @thatregalmujer I totally see what you are saying. OH and Michigan winters are more mild tham NE winters by a lot. But it does get cold. No denying that.

— @jenx I think I could complain all through winter about the cold, and be very appreciative there's no snow, lol