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So...I hate breastfeeding. I thought that I just hated it t…

So...I hate breastfeeding. I thought that I just hated it the first time because I had so many issues and my son lost weight. But this time, things are going well and I still hate it. Does the bonding part come later or what? My anxiety is overwhelming me and I can’t enjoy it. I’m constantly worried that she’s not getting what she needs and it is mentally draining.
I watch the clock like it’s my job and at the tiniest cry, I immediately try to get her to latch bc I’m convinced she’s always hungry. I’m just not okay. I so badly want to switch to formula so I can just relax but then mom guilt sets in 😭

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— Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. I’m extremely blessed to be able to EBF but I go to a mom group 1/week and many moms either chose not to right away and try it and don’t like it. For me, the bonding came around 4/5 months. I know my baby is going to be hard to wean because she’s so attached to me though lol. Maybe supplement and see how you feel. If it’s making you miserable, don’t do it. The most important thing you can do for your baby is take care of yourself too ❤️

— It’s encouraging to see how many people said the bonding came later for them. I know it’s rough in the beginning but I figured since I wasn’t having any issues with her eating that I was supposed to feel relaxed by now. But I’m starting to feel less alone thanks to all of you! I really appreciate it!

— Fed baby & happy relaxed mama is best. Whatever is best for you and your family.

— I did it five years it’s hard at first lol.. I did it exclusively tho nobody helped me I just kept trying my husband went back to oil filed next day

— You do what’s right for you. Baby will be fed no matter what ❤️

— Are you part of any breastfeeding support groups? They exist and have been super helpful for my anxiety! Putting baby to breast at every cry isn’t a bad thing, boobies provide more than nutrition and are the ultimate calm down tool too for many babies. You’re doing a great job! You’ve gotten through the first month, which is the hardest!

Is baby having about 6 wet diapers a day? Pooping regularly? Then baby is getting enough milk.

Some people hate breastfeeding, and that’s alright. Does it make your skin crawl? If so, you might have nursing aversion.

https://www.facebook.com/breastfeedingaversion/

Kellymom is my favorite breastfeeding resource. The website is super informative and the private group on Facebook is very helpful too. Lots of great supportive women.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/kellymamas/?ref=share

Hugs, momma!

— @mommaofjandm, I get it! I was like that with my first, just so anxious all the time especially with nursing. Looking back, I definitely had postpartum anxiety and wish I would have gotten more help. My nursing aversion was more when I got my period, but also when pumping at work. Pumping was just awful for me, even though I produced just fine.

Whatever you end up doing, don’t feel guilty about it. You’re important too! Your kids need a happy and healthy mom. Breastfeeding doesn’t need to be all or nothing. You can combo feed and do formula on occasion or scheduled regularly if you find, for example, the evening is just too much between bedtimes and dinner.

— @humblewarriormama, Thank you! I ended up talking to my doctor and I’m getting set up with a new therapist. So, hopefully I can start working on my anxiety and start relaxing a little bit.

— @mommaofjandm, ❤️ to you

— All that above to say: I wouldn’t put much stock into your feelings right now. Forget the mom guilt but don’t give up too soon; especially if this time around is going well.

— I think you have to give yourself some grace... and I’m gonna go against the main thread of comments here and say that formula may not be the magical solution. YES fed is always best. But here is some food for thought....

A) you JUST birthed a baby and therefore tons of hormonal and other physiological changes and fluctuations are occurring
B) your baby is telling your body what she instinctively needs every time she wants to nurse
C) your body and emotions are instinctively telling you that you need to meet that need
D) this may not be like the first time
E) you don’t have to love it.. there is a lot we do on a daily basis that we don’t love for the benefit of our children.

I promise you that it DOES get easier!! The first few weeks are the hardest BUT after those weeks I swear there’s something magical that happens and your nipples turn to steel and you gain more confidence in knowing what your baby needs. I also would HIGHLY recommend you take a postpartum depression scale questionnaire.

— That’s true. I think I just have it in my head that this is supposed to be some magically bonding experience.
But yes, I’ve taken that quiz a few times at the dr and my therapist has told me I have an anxiety disorder so I’m not too surprised this is stressing me out, tbh.
Reading all of these comments has for sure helped me feel so much better. I really thought something was just wrong with me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

— @mommaofjandm, there is NOTHING wrong with you in the least bit!! It can be so hard and draining at times but I also struggle with feeling on edge every time the baby cries when they’re exclusively nursing. For me I think it’s just honestly bc I’m constantly giving and giving and giving and feel a bit depleted at times. It’s been good for me to try to minimize what I have on my plate as much as possible while the baby is not eating solids. And even now my baby is just now starting to sleep through the night so it’s been a long haul. But I really want to encourage you to persevere if it has been going well❤️ and if you ever need to vent or some encouragement pls PM me anytime!!

— @bunsinmyoven, Thank you so much!!

— Yes the bond comes waaaay later. The first 3-4 months are about feeding your newborn whenever and however long she wants. Your instinct to nurse her every time she cries is normal and expected. That’s what moms are designed to do. It’s definitely harder when you also have a toddler but it gets better as time goes on. It’s up to you if you want to quit but I don’t really see how bottle feeding is easier. With all the washing and preparing bottles it’s not really a time saver.

— I agree with this.

— This makes me feel better! And yes, having a toddler makes it all seem so overwhelming! I’m for sure going to stick it out a little while longer.

— @mommaofjandm, Don’t be too hard yourself and take it one day at a time. Keep reminding yourself that this is a temporary stage in your baby’s life and it won’t be like this forever. Yes it’s hard. I’ve been there. If you need to give your son more screen time while you nurse, don’t beat yourself up about it. Do whatever you need to do. If things get overwhelming take them outside for a walk and get some air. You are all learning to becoming a family and it’s not easy or fast ❤️

— I’m not fond of breastfeeding. I do it a couple times a day. Otherwise my daughter is on formula. Fed is best no matter what. Do what you feel is best for you. The first night/day my daughter cluster fed, I wanted to give up. I hate it. And I still don’t like it. But it’s convenient so I don’t fully stop

— I haven’t thought of doing both. That might be something I’ll consider doing first before I just completely stop

— @mommaofjandm, I’d definitely try it. It works for me. I don’t pump either. So My body only makes enough for 2 maybe 3 feedings a day. I’ve found when breastfeeding she only goes 2 hours between. But with formula she goes 4. It helps getting more sleep at night.

— Girl, I hated breastfeeding. I hated the guilt I felt when swapping from breast to bottle. But, all of my babies were sooo much happier on formula than they were from breast milk. Fed is best!! If it makes your life easier, do it babe.

— I remember the instant relief when I switched with J. But breastfeeding was so rough for both of us. Mila is such a good eater, I’d hate to give up just bc I hate it, you know? I really hope I feel differently in a couple of weeks, though

— Fed is best!! Some women can breastfeed and some it wears on the mental heath! You do you mama!!

— I hated breastfeeding too and just switched to formula. There’s no difference and breastfeeding is too time consuming and messes with your mental health. Fed is best 🤷🏻‍♀️

— @2sweetie, a baby isn’t going to be more healthy drinking breast milk rather then formula. As long as your baby is fed is what makes them healthy.

— @2sweetie, they make formula to be a hell of a lot alike. With the conversation that’s going on right now - I feel this one could’ve been left out. She needs the positive courage at a time like this.

— @momtoboys1516, this! My SIL breastfed both of her children, and does all the organic foods now with the soy mills, etc etc etc and I have never seen 2 children that get sick so many times in my life. It’s all a load of crap, in my opinion.

— Put it in a bottle...

— I tried pumping but it takes forevvvver and I only end up with about an ounce of milk. That’s just not going to work out for me. Not sure how pumping mamas do it but props to them. Lol

— @mommaofjandm I had the same problem with pumping. Baby got plenty from nursing, but pumping I couldn't barely get anything out.

— Fed is best momma. I have a love-hate relationship with bf so I know how you feel. ❤️ Whatever decision you make is best. Your mental health matters too.

— Yes, for sure!!

— I honestly never felt that breastfeeding bond everyone talks about, it was miserable for me. Don’t feel guilty, you need to do what’s best for you as well.

— That makes me feel better! I’m waiting for it to kick in lol but nope...I just hate it 😬