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How do I deal with this? My daughter has a class mate who …

How do I deal with this?

My daughter has a class mate who is THE WORST...they don't get a long at all. They have been in the same class for two years now and have ballet/tap together.

Background: she's 6 months younger than my daughter and turning 5 this spring. She has the worst manners (for a 4 year old) she doesn't really engage in parallel play. She just bickers with my daughter constantly and cries when she doesn't get her way. It's too the point that I have had to shorten play dates to 90 minutes. My daughter has play dates with the rest of her friends for hours at a time. I asked her teacher if they get along well at school and she said they do.

Now I know people will say why do I invite her over😂...this girl guilts me...she will literally ask me for a play date for weeks at a time in front of everyone in the pick up line until I cave. Her mother is honestly a very nice woman. She works 3 jobs while her husband (who has clearly been dropping the ball in actually raising the kids) stays at home.

Just today she locked herself in my daughter's room and didn't want to come out 🙄. I'm just over it. I don't want to continue to get harassed and I don't want to keep inviting this child back to my home. I just don't know how to do it. Should I tell the mother straight up or try my best to ignore this child at pick up 😂


— I would discuss it with her mom and also dont give in. Just tell her you need to look and see if you have something or not. Kids are like that sometimes..

— I would let her come over and if she acted badly I would tell her at my house that's unacceptable and take her home immediately. If she kept it up I'd say no more play dates and your behavior is why you can't come over

— If they're getting along at school I would just keep it as a school only relationship and nothing more. I wouldn't reprimand the child or even speak to her mother about it. I would just stop having her over. I understand that you feel pressure to invite her over and dont want to say no, but you're going to have to. Just make excuses and eventually she will stop asking.

— I’d probably just say no & if it comes up again, I’d be honest with the mom. Just tell her you think it’d be best to take a break with play dates for awhile & if she asks why...tell her (as someone else had mentioned) that you parent differently & your daughters behavior is getting confused with her daughters behavior.
I know it’ll be tough, especially knowing she’s in a one sided relationship household but it sounds like it really needs to be said.

I had a similar situation but with one of my long time friends & her daughter...she lets her have the run of their house & then asked me to babysit constantly...after a month of babysitting, I just couldn’t anymore. Her behavior was just awful & it was negatively affecting my kids behavior, so I had to put an end to it....things were weird for a bit but theyve gotten back to normal, she just doesn’t ask me to babysit anymore. (THANK GOD! Lol)

— This sounds like 2 brothers that are 3 n 4 and in my sons class. They are little demon children 🤣 they bite and throw chairs at the teacher and scream and cry on the top of their lungs. I volunteer in his classroom and I’m like let’s just throw both of the straight into the garbage. It’s horrible 😭🤣

— What everyone else said lol you seem to be "too nice" here. Just tell her that you wont be having any more playdates because the girls dont seem to get along 🤷‍♀️ end it once and for all if you really want to. However, talking about red flags... does she want to have playdates with all the kids? Maybe trying to escape some kind of home situation?

— No she doesn't ask anyone else but me. She's a middle child and I'm pretty sure she just doesn't get a lot of one on one attention. That and also her dad doesn't really do anything stimulating with her and her little sister after school. My daughter and I do art projects, go to the park or library. This girl knows this and wants to tag along.

— Have you considered that this girl might be on the spectrum? Just from what you have described she ticks a lot of boxes for a "high functioning" autistic girl.

Of course I can't diagnose this girl, but I just wanted to point out that she might not be "the worst" child on purpose and instead has some undiagnosed issues.

— @massgirl ahhh cool... I only mentioned it, because of my own personal experience with how kids and adults react to my daughter who is on the spectrum.

— @watz I can't imagine how some people react to children that haven't been diagnosed yet it's hard to tell when children are young too.

— @massgirl yeah for sure. It's especially difficult when my daughter or my nephew (also on rhe spectrum) are having meltdowns in public. I can't tell you how many times random people feel the need to tell me that my kid needs a good spanking

— Id be "honest" and say once you leave my child acts out after watching your childs behaviour and i think it would be better if we took a time out on playdates. Not saying you guys arent doing a good job raising her we just have different ways about it!

— Ugh I know I have to have the conversation. I've given little hints like the girls needed a break when she came over or my daughter cried. I feel so bad for the mom. She vents to me at dance class and her situation is shitty. The daughter is simply a product of her environment unfortunately. I just cannot deal anymore

— Just say no!