Ladies: I spoke to the father of the church I plan to get married at, in order to save our date. It was done via email. And asked if I could get a mass in Spanish because my fiance's grandmothers and my parents dont speak english. I'm fluent in both languages as is my fiance, his parents and the rest of his family except the elders. Well the father told me this:
I just want to say that whatever happens it’s your wedding not your mothers. She doesn’t need to understand what’s going on only you and Joshua so have it in the language you use the most and understand the most. This is for you not your mom.
I cant help but feel offended..side note: my mother did not ask me to do a spanish mass. I decided that myself, I hate seeing our elders forgotten because they dont speak english, they came to this country to give us a better life..and I understand this journey is for my fiance and I but we wouldnt be here if it weren't for them. I see way to often the grandparents feel alone because no one speaks spanish.. I will honor my father and mother and my fiance's grandmothers, the best way I know how and I will not forget them. Should i be feeling this hurt by what the father said??
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I agree, I will do what I want...and I wont let anyone sway my choice. My mass will be in Spanish and I dont care who likes it or not.
I wouldn’t have mentioned why I wanted mass in Spanish in the first place to avoid comments. I get where you’re coming from because if that’s what he said word for word I’d be upset at how he worded it but just reply saying you appreciate his concern but you’re fluent in both languages so there will be no problem understanding mass in Spanish.
I just typed it, not thinking much of it. And yes that's what he said word by word!! I replied with this:
Thank you and I appreciate it. I speak both languages fluently and spanish is my first language. It was also a decision I personally made, not suggested by my mother, father nor my fiance's grandmothers. I completly understand where your coming from, I know the mass is for my fiance and i and no one else. Thank you father.
I mean its not other people their my parents and my fiance's grandmothers. I have the choice and I chose spanish mass, and I said parents/ fiances grandmother never did I single out my mother. She never asked it was my personal choice.. it was just uncalled for for him to assume it was my mother. My mothers doesnt mind if it in spanish or english, I'm the one that cares.
Dis you tell him the reason? Then he would have known. He was just making suggestion. I would not hold it in much. It is your wedding. Do what you both want best.
@icebergahead I could of just not mentioned my reason so he wouldnt have a suggestion.. he asked did i want my mass in Spanish or english. I said Spanish, because my parents dont speak english nor my fiance's grandmothers.
I mean no I wouldn’t change anything for other ppl it’s your day but that’s up to you get a person that speaks it and maybe have them say it to them 🤷🏼♀️
I think he means well. He’s probably just going by what he’s seen. I think if you explain that you and your fiancé understand Spanish as well and want to honor your family and your roots, maybe he will better understand your request.
Yes exactly how I feel, just made me upset that he singled out my mother like shes forcing it on me. When my mother said its whatever I want.. I just want to honor them and for them to understand everything.. I will definitely explain it him when I see him in person and how I felt offended by it
@lezlie527, I would definitely be hurt that he’d single my mom out. Just clear it up and make sure he knows that YOU want the mass in Spanish for you, not because of outside pressure.
Do what YOU want or you’ll regret it. Don’t let anyone (father included) sway your choice. This is your path to happiness.