Starting TWW. Anyone else?

I had a stillborn daughter at 38 weeks this passed Nov. This is my second month ttc. (Last month we only tried for like two weeks though). My last and only pregnancy, I got pregnant the first month of ttc so I hope it's quick this time again.

so depressed.

I feel so depressed today af is due today. And hasn't shown. But for some reason I feel depressed. I was having really bad back cramps that came and went. And idk I feel like the test yesterday was just an indent or something. Because I caved and tested this morning and it's the same thing.... So I just don't even know.ugh why does this have to be so draining.

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

So I keep feeling these lil sharp pains on my right side. You do get pains like that before you start your period right.? Remember I had that dark brown spotting for a few hours last month on the 22. My period suppose to start today.

So we have no food in our house and no money so whatever we had I let my husband and kids eat. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten since yesterday. I wish we weren't so behind on rent. Next week we have to pay our phone bill and the week after we have to pay rent again. I'm so sick on not being able to have food in our home.