More truth is I didn’t have a bad life. I wasn’t abused or neglected. I wasn’t “returned”. I was…
More truth is
I didn’t have a bad life. I wasn’t abused or neglected. I wasn’t “returned”. I was poorly parented but even kids raised with their biological parents are poorly parented or worse. But I was loved. I’ve always been loved.
Yet I still suffer from a lot of the same issues that many adoptees do and I’m angry. I tried to kill myself in high school. Something that happens in 4 times greater numbers to adoptees. I have trust issues and constant people pleasing issues. I’m scared.all.the.time that more people are going to abandon me. Like I was abandoned as a baby. These feelings don’t just turn themselves off. They are deeply ingrained in my being from the trauma. From the primal wound that was left when I was removed from my biology.
Having nice things growing up, and living in a nice house and a nice neighborhood doesn’t mean that I don’t still have issues as an adoptee. Having a loving father who despite his parental failings loves me to the ends of the earth. Doesn’t change alllll the things I deal with because of adoption.
michelle·
As a fellow adoptee who grew up in a good home, i feel this and i appreciate you so much for posting it 🙌🏻🙌🏻❤
squishymommy1··
If you ever need help finding your biological family (if you haven’t). Give me a shout.
michelle··
i actually have! Thankyou so much for the offer though. I grew up knowing i was adopted and their names, and started searching from early on. I connected with my biokogical grandparents pretty early when i was like 12 or 13 and a year or two later i conencted with my siblings which lead me to my mother. I havent connected with my father but im very much okay with that. We chat from time to time still years later but havent met yet. I use to want to but as ive grown older Im still on the fence about that chapter.
BakingDaddy ·
💜
Heather·
Мама сына (7 лет)
Squishy, my mom is adopted in the era of closed adoption records, so we haven’t been able to find out anything about her biological family. Her adoptive parents (my grandparents) were fantastic, but that didn’t erase trauma she experienced as an infant before being given for adoption.
My mom did EMDR therapy for her trauma, which really helped her in reprocessing that trauma, especially because it had occurred when she was pre-verbal and before working memory, so traditional trauma therapies couldn’t really access that. Have you ever looked into EMDR therapy as part of your counseling?
squishymommy1··
I have. And if she. Or you. Ever want to find them. I can do that for you.
Heather··
Мама сына (7 лет)
I may take you up on that at some point. It would be nice to know our biological history, at the very least for medical issues/diseases. My mom is coming to visit me from out of state this week; I’ll chat with her about it.