How do i explain to my husband that I’m not wanting to go to his family for thanksgiving ( 2 hours away) first time for me going there for thanksgiving, first thanksgiving being...

Amanda

How do i explain to my husband that I’m not wanting to go to his family for thanksgiving ( 2 hours away) first time for me going there for thanksgiving, first thanksgiving being married and first thanksgiving as a family. We would stay at his grandmas house over night but I’m becoming really down on myself a lot I’m a month PP and I’m just not wanting to go there with our son around my in laws trying to breast feed (that I still struggle with sometimes) but yet I dont wanna lock myself in a bedroom for ever especially if he ends up hungry when we are eating. I’ll have to disappear from the table to feed him which kinda beats the purpose of going. I just wanna stay where we live go to my family for a couple hours then leave but seeing his family is really important to him the first year of us together he was with mine the second he went to his by himself and now that we are a family we arnt going split up for the holidays but his family is 1 1/2- 2 hours away

15.10.2019

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Compromise. Can you invite his family to your place and host or least be willing to go see his family when the baby is a little older around Christmas. I totally get what you're saying but it sounds like seeing his family is important to him. You can't just see your family because they're closer and not be willing to see his at all eventually.

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mysonsmommy

We normally see them once a month but neither of us didn’t want to take him for a couple months since it’s 2 hours away and my husband likes to stay over night so before he was born we planned on going up for thanksgiving and Christmas Day but now I’m getting down on myself a lot and just wanna stay close to home and not have to worry about them judging me just Bc I’m not myself. I barely wanna get off the couch not to mention going 2 hours away stay the night somewhere with our baby and have him not sleep good Bc it’s a new place and have to be social

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coffeebean

I’m sure if you just told his family how you feel yourself that they’d understand. Maybe even tell him if it’s THAT important he goes for a little while but doesn’t stay the night. He can eat and bring you home a plate. That way everyone wins. I totally can understand you wanting to stay home especially for the reasons you have. And having a baby so small still is hard to spend nights away from where you’re comfortable. Sometimes people I think forget what it’s like to have newborn.

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penelope127

I would see if you guys could go earlier, so you don’t have to overnight.

If that’s not an option get a hotel for the night. Then you can leave and have your own space.

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humblewarriormama

Ran into this myself a few weeks ago over some family tradition. We compromised and went earlier in the day, like lunch time, when my newborn was more likely to nap and not cluster feed. I felt the exact same way, what’s the point of me going to dinner if I’m just going to be locked in a bedroom and don’t get to enjoy the meal with everybody. Idk if that’s an option for you or not, but wanted to share what we ended up doing in case it helps.

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mama.kay

I agree just tell him how you feel. Maybe give a little and take a little. Like say you’ll do Christmas Eve or something there but that you’d prefer the actual holidays at your home with your new family starting new traditions. Just have a heart to heart with him, be open and honest and come to a decision together

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bodybycheetos

Just tell him you want to start new traditions. Stay home, don't go see family, they can come to you if they want. Make dinner together and just spend the day as a family.
I can understand him wanting to go see his family just like I understand you wanting to see yours. Make it a fresh year just together at home as a new family.

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