Does your child’s father help with the kids ? My husband does the absolute bare minimum and just told me I’m naggin him because i told him how i felt . Granted I’m emotional but i almost feel like i made a mistake marrying his selfish ass .
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I’ve learnt over the years if I want/need help I need to tell him what to do not expect him to just do something then get mad when he doesn’t. I now tell him what to do and he does it, it works lol.
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So my husband worked nights and mornings while having our kids and when the baby woke in the middle of the night he got up, got the baby, changed them, and gave him to me to nurse and get the baby back to sleep. That way we both do a part at night because we are both the parents and one shouldn't be doing everything and getting no sleep even if the other works. I had two csections so at the beginning it was hard for me to get out the bed so that's how that routine started but we kept with it. And if I need to get out the house because I am there 24/7 with the kids, I tell him I'm going to go shopping or get coffee and he watches the kids (not baby sits because they are his kids).
I feel like I’m about to be in the same boat. He’s already talking about sleeping in the living room.
@lpreston, rolls the baby bed out in the living room.... and then take a pillow and blanket and sleep in the car so you can’t hear if the baby wake up. 🤣😂🤣
...to bad I’m breast feeding. 😫
@mommagoat, smh these men ! Oh i breast feed too so he loves saying gotta feed him I’m bout to start pumping
@lpreston, already got my pump up and running for when it’s time!!
People do whatever they're allowed to do. It's not too late to get him in order. He needs to step up and be a hands on father! No excuses why he can't do his job. "DoeS hE WoRK?"😩 I hate that question in situations like this. Forget his job. He has responsibilities just like you. What's going to happen when you go back to work? Everything will still fully be on you when you get off. Some men just suck and so does the people that make excuses for why they can't do their part.
I said that he’ll i might as well be a single mom ( no shade ) because I’m doing it majority alone .
@lpreston I understand what you mean. If I had an in house deadbeat, I'd feel the same. That what I call them. May be a harsh way to put it, but that's what I think of when they decide to basically not be a father to their kids. How do you live with you kids and still not do your part. They tend to think their financial contribution to the household is supposed to be enough. Sadly, some women validate that for them then complain when they have to do everything on their own.
@lpreston, 2 children so close in age sounds exhausting so give your self time and credit ,I waited many yrs apart to have more children, my mom and my husband s mom had kids so close in age I understand why they are the way they are and that’s back in the day when most women stayed home in the 1960-80’s and raised their children , after giving birth our bodies take almost a full yr for our organs to go back into place ,women go thru childbirth,periods,cramps ,Hormones&deal with a lot of shit before it gets too much Tell him what u want and what u need and what U expect ,good luck and hope u get a break for sleep,shower and eat a hot meal even if u need to shower stay in extra take time for you
Yes this baby was a surprise i was on birth control lol i wanted one once my oldest turn 5 but i got them 2 years apart . I understand back in the day but i just feel now like u said , both parties gotta do it together . Thank you for wishing me luck i will look into talking but he did say i was nagging which infuriated me
@lpreston, Tell him I wouldn’t have to Nag If you knew how to be a hands on dad and not just give me them out of your balls ! I am 40 yrs old I wouldn’t put up with any shit I’m not 21 anymore hahha that’ll keep him quiet and ready to listen to your list of needs for the home to be in peace !
@sherrynygirl, thanks again and you made me laugh when i was feeling down thanks 😋
My husband helps. It took a few talks for him to fully grasp that just because he works doesn't give him an excuse to not help with the children he helped create. I usually have to ask some things, but it's more of we alternate things. On weekends we alternate who makes breakfast. Baths are alternated. Etc. There should be a balance with it.
I agree fully balance is all i want
I understand your post but,maybe because ,I am an older mom “The Term help”sounds odd Takes 2 people to make a baby &should take 2 responsibilities of the parents to make sure all their child’s needs and especially wife’s needs are met when you just had a newborn ! My motto is train your man ! To be more aware of things he needs to do not just be a father in the background “make a list and or tell him This is what YOU expect to be done in the home and for your children #1
I agree ! I shouldn’t even have to say help we suppose to be partners it should be normal to just do it . I kinda feel like i really made a bad decision with him 😞😞i shouldn’t have to fight . He says tell me hut when i do i May get it that one time but it doesn’t continue
Of course he helps with our daughter. He works a lot, so I do most of the child-rearing, but whenever he's home he helps with everything.
Does he work? My husband is currently taking time off because he's got an injury so it's completely 50/50 unless he can't do something physically which is totally fine. I have it set up so he can do everything without bending really though. When he's working I do most but I make sure I ask for help if and when I need it.
He works but it’s still unfair like dang on weekends he’s off i feel he should out of courtesy let me sleep in I’m up every 2 hours with my newborn . While he’s sleep then he gets up and leaves doesn’t offer to even fix a bottle .. to me he is just selfish
@lpreston That's completely unfair. Parenting is a 24/7 job. He should be getting bottles and offering you rest especially on the weekends. I would be having a chat with him, a long bath and a well deserved nap. I would literally just set everything up for him, give him the baby and go lay down.
I’ve learnt over the years if I want/need help I need to tell him what to do not expect him to just do something then get mad when he doesn’t. I now tell him what to do and he does it, it works lol.
Lol yes after 7 years i also have to do the same thing lol
I do but at the same time he tells me , he has to work he tired he going to bed while i have this screaming newborn and my toddler is sick ( I’m on maternity leave ) but he acts like I’m just unemployed and sitting around chilling all day . Hell its hard with 2 kids under 2!! I feel it’s certain things he should just know Has been a father almost 20 years i only been a mom
2 years ! Yet he acts totally clueless .. he could at least reciprocate what i give him when he randomly watches the kids .. sigh sorry I’m just so upset
Learned the same recently and to my surprise hes been more helpful
I understand your post but,maybe because ,I am an older mom “The Term help”sounds odd Takes 2 people to make a baby &should take 2 responsibilities of the parents to make sure all their child’s needs and especially wife’s needs are met when you just had a newborn ! My motto is train your man ! To be more aware of things he needs to do not just be a father in the background “make a list and or tell him This is what YOU expect to be done in the home and for your children #1