How to Handle Strained Relationship with Mother-in-Law After Baby?

Question

Iv always had a great relationship with my mother in law. But since I had Ava i feel like our relationship is strained. I feel disrespected. I understand she is her grandmother, but she never ask or tells me when she is coming over, she only ask my husband who tells her yes but he never even ask me if I'm ok to habe visitors, I have asked her several times to wash her hands before she picks ava up and she never does. She has been criticizing me over not using a pacifier,  and picks at every little detail. I try to talk to my husband about it and he gets very offensive and I dont wanna have another fight. I feel like I'm being forced to put up with it , but i know I'm gonna boil over and lose it. Ughhhhhhhh

JWDx4 Momma🦈🦖🦄🧚‍♀️ · Answer

I agree with everything that @cuppacoffee, said 🙌 plus Baby is still fairly new, this is a crucial time to bond with her. My MIL was the same and I wish I would’ve stood my ground sooner. Good luck mamma 🥰💕

... · Answer

I don’t know where these women get their entitlement from but these old hags need to learn that the baby that they’re so eager to raise isn’t theirs. That their child is already an adult. You’re right, this isn’t time for grandma to be getting to know this baby. It’s time for mom to get to know HER new baby.
Even if that means being the bad guy, oh well. My own mental health comes first before my bitch MIL. Lol. 
Even they had a period in time where they were a new mom themselves. Seriously, have some respect for people’s time and anatomy.

... · Answer

It may sound ridiculous to say but fuck it 
“ since when did you lay down and fuck your mom to make this child? Since when do you both or even just you, get a say over this household with who can and cannot come over? This is MY time with MY baby. Day in and day out I DO THE DAY TO DAY ROUTINE. I would like for you both to respect that and you don’t. Am I nobody? Is your mother more important? Because if she is, maybe you should’ve married her instead huh? Since her feelings matter more and all.”

You don’t even have to go off. Just look at him directly in his eye and make him look at you while you’re talking..don’t let him interrupt. He will try. 
“Okay we’ll talk about this more when you can act like an adult and let me speak before cutting me off, until then...I don’t want to see your mother in this house.” 
Learn to really establish your matriarchy in your household. She is his mom, but not the woman of the house. They need to realize that.

... · Answer

Sounds like to me you need to stop trying to rock the boat and throw your husband and MIL off....or they’ll fucking drown you. 
She doesn’t respect you or your time because why would she? Her own son doesn’t respect you. You need to be able to have your own voice the way he is able to. The way she is able to. Why fuck your feelings ? No. When she comes, just so happen to leave. If your husband has an issue with it oh well..:you have an issue with them not respecting you so fuck them. You really need to get in this mind frame because they will always team up and Bully you. Don’t let them do that. Stand up for you and your baby. Lock yourself in the room. If you’re mostly that baby’s caregiver YOU get the final say, YOU are his mother , not your MIL. It took a while for both my husband and MIL to get it but I will always remain the “bitch” because I didn’t let them get their way with MY child.

Farah Crawley · Answer

I dont wanna have to go off, but your right I need to grow a pair.

How to Handle Strained Relationship with Mother-in-Law After Baby?

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