Summer nights like this, where it’s “warm” enough to have the windows open but still cool enough to…

Summer nights like this, where it’s “warm” enough to have the windows open but still cool enough to make you need a blanket remind me of the summer before I got pregnant with my first kid. Those nights I had no responsibilities. I roamed the streets at odd hours, stoned, walking to each destination. Where I didn’t have time restraints. I could do my own thing and I was my own person. It seems like a lifetime ago.

After I had my first son it was difficult to transition into being a mom. I became a new person. Lost a little bit of who I was. Then I had my second. He was born very prematurely and it snapped me into the reality I should have been in after I had my first. Now, laying here with my window open, feeling the cool air that I felt walking the streets of my city so many years ago doesn’t give me those same feelings. The feelings of missing out on something. It reminds me that motherhood has changed me for the better, even if I am super boring and exhausted all the time now. 😭