I need to rant a little bit
I need to rant a little bit
My bf has 2 kids from other relationships before me. A 7yr old daughter and a 5yr old son(6 in oct). Then there’s my little baby we ha together and we’re expecting another one in August. I have the BEST bond with his daughter like she’s definitely mine but not mine(I appreciate her mother helping bring her into this world 🤣). I don’t what so ever have the same bond with my bfs son and I feel horrible for saying it doesn’t bother me 🤷🏼♀️ but it really doesn’t. For 1 the kid is a major spoiled brat, god for bid he gets upset every one loses their minds and scrambles to make him happy again but if my son or their sister gets upset cause of the same thing? It doesn’t matter and they have to “get over it”. Everything is handed to this kid. Example, a couple weeks ago we went to my aunts house for MY cousins bday party. It was myself, my son, my bf, my bf son. When we left he DEMANDED his dad give him a blanket because he was “cold”. For 1 it was 80 degrees outside and he was wearing sweatpants a T-shirt and a sweat jacket thing zipped up, he was warm. He DEMANDED though that he get a blanket right then and there however we didn’t have one so my bf said “you have to wait until we get home” his son says “ NO. I want a blanket NOW” I was LIVID. That’s how it is every single day my bf has his son(which is not often as my bfs son lives in Idaho). Every one favorites this kid and when called out they’re so quick to be like “NO WE DO NOT!” “We don’t pick favorites how dare you say that!” But they do 💁🏼♀️ how you not picking favorites when if he cries or gets upset or ANYTHING, everyone is so quick to make him happy again but if MY son gets upset or anything for the same reason or similar reason every one says “oh he’s fine” like no. My bfs grandma told her own great granddaughter one day “I don’t want to sit next to you I want to sit next to him because I don’t see him much” my brain exploded. My stepdaughter was almost in tears. I’m so over those 2 kids getting the boot because my bf and his grandmother pick favorites BIG time. The other day my son and my bfs son were climbing on dad and he said twice “no get off now please boys!” They just would not let up so my bf accidentally raised his voice and it deepened a lot and said “ENOUGH!” Loud and deep. What happened? My son got upset and so did my bfs son, my son was pushed away and my bf IMMEDIATELY said “your fine your fine I’m sorry don’t be upset it’s fine I didn’t mean too” while my son was just standing there looking at him like “what’s going on? Why don’t I get a hug?”. Am I wrong for being so emotional and bothered by this?
ReginAfelange·
Yes very wrong. They hardly see the poor kid. He’s probably feeling insecure because he’s far from home, his ‘stepmother’ seems to dislike him, he has new siblings so probably also feels pushed out. Of course his family do extra for him and so they should.
That being said, good luck with it all, I’m s step parent and it’s tricky
M. P. ··
He’s been around us for a very long time. He just recently moved to Idaho and it’s not me disliking him(it always comes off that I don’t like HIM it’s his attitude and the way my bf parents him vs how he parents our son and his daughter. I totally understand doing extra for him but this is how it’s been his whole life even when he was living in the same area and we saw him all he time. It’s absolutely nothing new to either of us.
JM·
Мама двоих (1 год, 2 года)
I understand how you feel your son being left out and thats not right. Your bf should show equal attention, but also keep in mind his other son is barely 6 years old. He is still a small kid and he doesn’t fully comprehend whats going on plus he probably misses his dad a lot so whenever he is with him your bf just wants to please him because they dont live so close. I am a step mom myself to a 17 year old and its hard. But just have patience with him. Everything will be fine, just try and put yourself in your bfs shoes 😊
M. P. ··
I totally feel like I made it seem like I hate the poor kid 😕 I don’t, it just makes me mad that he’s handed something and then my 2 year old doesn’t get it and he’s told no and cries and has to “get over it” and he absolutely doesn’t understand why and I’m like “wth” I don’t hate his son I love him I do and I care about him absolutely we just don’t have a bond at all and I feel like all that is why, I step back a lot because I have people jump down my throat if I try and parent the kids when they are together and he’s gets upset because he didn’t get his way(like a well those 2 don’t get any so no you may not get any either right now type of thing) so I’m like telling my bf “no, do this instead” like I’m side parenting(I’ve had full permission to parent my step kids btw too I’m definitely not parenting them without permission. I don’t think it’s my place unless I was given the okay to do so and I was given the okay to do it