Short Luteal Phase?

I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.

I just want to cry

I feel horrible because i dont want to be pregnant. I mean i was excited and everything when i found out. Mlre so shocked. But as time is going on, i just dont want to be pregnant. Is that an ok thing to say? Although i already love this little girl and thats mostly why i feel bad for feeling that way. Not sure if something is wrong with me or its just im over it now because i feel like this pregnancy is dragging on

Will your Mom be in the delivery room?

My mom made it sound like she was gonna be in the delivery room when I give birth, and quite frankly, I would just like it to be me and my fiancé. It's our first, and I want to share that special moment with just him. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I know this is something she would really like to be a part of. So I feel bad telling her no.