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Brandi Bulgin
Guess I just have to accept my fiance and my mom will never get along. 🤷 They can't even stay in the same room together for 5 minutes before my mom starts making jokes about Mexicans... Your grandson is half Mexican for God's sake 🤦
4.8 года

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meaux

You need to check your mom

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motherhoodchronicles

I had to straight up tell my mom to stop making white people jokes, in private of course, I told her it offends my son and my husband and he doesn’t like that shit at all and neither do I.

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mommydiaz0505

Yeah I agree

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mommydiaz0505

@nervous_mama No you won't be deported also but I dont think you'd want to stay here without your partner and your sons father. Just do civil your parents dont need to be there if they are what's making things difficult. My husband and I got married civil first then church when we had money. It wasn't too expensive for us to get married through civil.

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nervous_mama

Heck no! If they deport my fiance I'm leaving as soon as possible. Either my mother-in-law's place or get my own place away from my parents.

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mommydiaz0505

Yeah to be honest I've been going through that too and my husband is Guatemalan as well as I am half Mexican myself and my moms mom is exactly like that so I had to block her out of my life I even at some blocked my mom out of my life as well hut she's gotten better after really getting to know my husband. Ita not an easy situation especially with what's going on in the world these days but the best you can do is just block her out until she understands.

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nervous_mama

I've tried it. She's nosey and has to know the reason why for everything. What scares me is that my fiance doesn't have papers. I already threatened her that no matter what, if she deports my fiance or his family that will be the end of our mother/daughter relationship, she won't ever see her grandchildren and I will never speak to her or my family again

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mommydiaz0505

@nervous_mama do you guys live with her? Because she cant invade where you live, and she cant have him deported believe me I know what you mean my hubby doesn't have papers either. Why dont you guys have a civil wedding? Because if she does even succeed in deporting him which I doubt she could then she'd be sending you away too. Because he's your partner as well as your sons father.

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nervous_mama

@mommydiaz0505 I didn't know I could get deported too. I'm a US citizen. I was born here. And we've tried but my parents make everything difficult. I don't think they want us to get married. We might just go on my fiance's day off. Kinda hard to get married when we pay our portion of the rent and gas for my parents. We're trying to leave by next month.

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avahcruz

I am closing off the chapter between my mom and I for many reasons including this one. My mom has referred to my son as a “taco”, suggested I date white guys because Mexicans are controlling, told me Mexicans beat their women, etc. she also makes comments about black people: in reference to bringing my husband to meet her “thank god you didn’t bring a black guy home” and has dropped the “n***er” word. I’m super passionate on not determining characteristics of an individual based on their race, for ANY race. But the fact that she makes those remarks and tokenizes my son is not okay. I don’t want my son growing up feeling in any way ashamed of his ancestry or his family. So I pick the family I make over the family that acts so hateful.

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nervous_mama

My mom is the same way. She tells me to keep my options open and openly flirts with guys FOR me with me right there. My fiance works 8 hours a day to support our family and she thinks HE'S cheating. My mom makes him go straight to work and come home to our family. When does he have time to cheat on me when she has these stupid rules?! Its like we're 15 not in our late 20's 🤦 Hopefully we move out by the first of next month. I'm done

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avahcruz

@nervous_mama, wow that’s so disrespectful. I’m sorry you have to deal with that I hope you can get the hell out of there soon!

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nervous_mama

@avahcruz Me too. Thank you

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keeks89

I wouldn’t even tolerate that from my mom. If she feels some type of way about your baby being mixed then she doesn’t need to see the baby or you. Some people don’t learn until they are being loved from a distance

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nervous_mama

I cut off contact with her for 3 years before I had my son and still gives me shit for it. Like I'm here now, what do else do I have to do? Kiss her ass? No thank you...

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nervous_mama

@dscroggins08 My fiance has already gotten in a verbal fight with her three times in the 6 months we've lived with them. My mom gives me shit because I take his side. Which makes him considered controlling in her eyes. We moved in so I could have help with my son and my pregnancy. But at this point we all would have been better off getting our own place. I'm tired, hormonal and just done with my family. I miss my in-laws. At least my mother in law treated me like a daughter and my sister in law treated me like a sister. My own brother treats me like shit and tells me how to raise my son...he doesn't even have children let alone like them.

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del_1570030088_itsybitsymunchkin

Sound like my uncle. He told me not another Mexican. 🤦🏼‍♀️ We have 3 half white and half Mexican in my family, my cousin, my nephew, and now my son. He also tell jokes as well.

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nervous_mama

How do you deal with it?

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del_1570030088_itsybitsymunchkin

@nervous_mama
I just ignored him, and just keep talking with my aunt.

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boymama523

Yikes. Sorry to hear that you’re in the middle. If she can’t be nice she can’t be around your son 🤷🏼‍♀️

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nervous_mama

That will just cause more problems. She already threats my fiance and me that she will make our lives a living hell. We're saving up for a place so we all will be happier

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boymama523

@nervous_mama, didn’t know you lived together. Good luck hopefully by the wedding day she’ll get over it. I know a lot of older people who can’t accept their children are with the member of another race.

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nervous_mama

@boymama523 Yeah, kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Can't really do anything until we move out. It sucks because my older brother is dating an African American and my mom could care less. Maybe because its not happening under her roof that she's allowing it? 🤷

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dscroggins08

Mixes babies are adorable , that's pretty fucked up she even let's that come out her mouth I wouldn't want to be in the same room with her either if I was your husband , definitely agree with @meaux check your mama or your husband will probably break and end up having to check her I'd do it for your son and your man they don't deserve that

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meaux

You need to check your mom

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nervous_mama

I've tried so many times. She doesn't get it and is too bullheaded to change. My fiance tried to reason with her but she gave him no credit

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