I never get a break from the kids yet here my husband gets to go to bbq

Why don’t you tell him to take them ,, why aren’t all of you going ?

Its fucking work related he says only bunch of his co workers are going

Meanwhile I get zero alone time none ever !! Yet he says he needs a break

I’ve shown up at a ‘co-workers’ party before. Almost always a spouse is there, occasionally a spouse and kids are there. Honestly I’d tell him grow a pair, you are coming too or he isn’t going.