Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Thanks for all the ❤️ guys! I think I'm in shock! Labor story in a bit I'm being attacked with visitors lol

Birth Plan Rant

I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have an unmedicated birth (this is my first baby). What annoys me is when I say that I'm going to TRY my hardest to have a natural and unmedicated birth people always feel the need to say that I'm crazy or that I'm going to change my mind when I get in that position. Or that epidurals are the best. I do realize that plans change, but why can't people be supportive and encouraging?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I kind of suffered from postpartum depression after I had my first due to me being self conscious about my weight and not accepting my appearance. I made a promise to myself this time no matter what I'm going to eat better and exercise.