Amazing how tine apart from your SO can temporarily fix things. Only been 3 days and it seems like…
Amazing how tine apart from your SO can temporarily fix things. Only been 3 days and it seems like he has been working on his self. He picked me up to take me to my chiropractor now he's at work. And tomorrow he has off and is coming back to the house. That will br the true test to see if it was just a few hours or what. I am debating on weaytk have a talk with him. We are good together just not when it comes to my son. We have complete differebt parenting styles and my son needs that extra patience. He's ADHD, anxiety and sensory and my SO definitely doesn't have patience and gets overwhelmed quickly. Wanting to just let me deal with my son and he can just be there for him. But leave the parenting to me. Which j think he will have a hard time hearing and accepting. Because working on us needs to be our main focus at the moment and how we react to things and talk to each other. Of course I'll never take his parenting away from my daughter. That's his daughter also but my son needs to just be left up to me for the time being. I don't even know how to word it so he doesn't take it as he's a bad person or it's about him entirely. Just have to pick my words carefully. Does that seem wrong of me?? To say I want that for right now.
XryztalRoze·
You're in a difficult situation. I don't think taking away his parental authority is going to help in the long run. It may help today but tomorrow bigger problems will arise bc your son will not consider his father(or step , you didn't specify) his authority figure or someone he has to respect and listen to. If he has mental health disorders or diagnosis it will potentially cause an even bigger problem. My best advice is to sit down and really discuss your desires for your son. How do you want his behavior approached? What do you believe is appropriate? What do you expect from your SO? What does he do well? What would you like to see him do better? How can he modify his current tactics to suit your son's needs and to make you more comfortable with his ways? Are his ways truly wrong or just different from yours? These are questions I ask myself when my husband corrects our oldest and I don't like it. I have to ask is he really wrong or just making me uncomfortable? You are completely in the right to have an honest discussion but before telling him not to correct him at all and creating a bigger problem I'm the long run, perhaps talk to him and set some family guidelines based on your child's special needs to be followed and see if you can get on the same page first. Best of wishes!!!!
XryztalRoze·
Oh! And something you could also say to him is that though you don't think his ways are wrong, you just don't think they are best for your son and you'd like to work together to make a discipline and teaching plan to help all of you become a stronger family and to teach both of your children the same lessons though you may have to approach each of them differently according to needs. Explain you just want to get on the same page and believe that will not only help your children but your relationship. Hugs mama!
Amanda··
Мама двоих (1 год, 10 лет), ждёт третьего
Thank you
XryztalRoze··
You're welcome. I know it may be difficult but it's necessary to get on the same page. I have a special circumstance with my oldest and we have differing opinions at times though we are on the same page when it comes to desired outcome. Even if your child is completely average this is a common problem. The only way to deal with it is head on in the most honest and caring way possible. Remember to use the same kindness for your husband that you expect from him... Apply the same care and honesty you want for your son and remember this is not a race to perfection but a marathon for best possible outcome. Be patient and with time you will both work it out. Much love and many hugs sent your way!!!
Lauren🖤·
My oldest daughter is autistic and its definitely more of a struggle for my hubby to parent her than it is me. Being A SAHM for 2 1/2 years (since she was born) has helped me learn patience and understanding and he works a ton and gets frustrated easily. But I just remind him to be understanding and patient and he tries his best to be.
XryztalRoze··
That's awesome that you get to stay home longer. My position has been held for me and I get to take off my whole pregnancy and the first year. Pregnancy leave is paid in full for the whole 9 months and the year long bonding time is unpaid. We will try for baby #3 once I am back to work. I will thankfully only work 3 days a week in general. Unfortunately I have to be gone the whole time. But hey, such is life.
As for understanding what I was saying about our husbands that's awesome. It is definitely easier to just jump in and do things right now, but it sure is worth the extra "growing pains" today for an easier tomorrow when the kids actually remember. Hugs and love mama!
Lauren🖤··
that's awesome must be a good job! And yes its a lot of work but worth it for a better tomorrow
XryztalRoze··
Yes ma'am, better than great! I have 11 years tenure and seniority. I pray I can maintain my position and learn to balance work/family life. That's the only way this will work. Especially since we plan to homeschool the children and have one more.
Sounds like you're doing great!