Как поддержать подругу, чей ребенок в реанимации?
NICU MOMS♥️:
I posted a few days ago about how thankful I was that my best friend had a little boy only 6 days after me. Well, her sweet little baby (even at 41 weeks gestation) has been in the nicu since. Even her first child hasn’t been able to meet his brother since he’s under eleven (hospital rules.).
He’s having issues with his swallowing. He’s unable too, when it comes down to it. They have specialist looking at his diaphragm & his vocal cords to start with, but they are thinking it could be as big of an issue as neurological.
My heart is absolutely broken for her - I cannot imagine how she feels.
Not being able to bring your new child home must be some of the worst kind of pain there is.
So. My question is:
What would you appreciate most from a friend when experiencing something so traumatic?
I’ve talked to her twice a day, every day, since she’s been discharged. I feel like all I keep saying is “im so sorry.” And, “I cannot imagine.”.
Like I said, she’s my absolute best friend, and I just want to put a smile on her face.
We did this pregnancy together, and that - I feel - makes it even more hard that I got to bring my healthy boy straight home and hers is still at the hospital.
I just want to put a smile on her face, even if it’s for a second.
jenna tess·
@kimberly_the-preemie-mom any suggestions on what you’d have liked to have?
She’s in Sac. Being as I’m so far away, my mom has offered to watch her first boy since he’s not allowed in. So they are able to visit the NICU more. But, I’d like to do something more than just offer my moms help.
Kimberly ··
I think just being there emotionally is wonderful. Making sure she’s not alone emotionally and mentally is huge. I felt very lost and alone for the nicu roller coaster. I think if you could swing it, go spend a few hours with her. I know that would be nearly impossible with a newborn and while you’re still recovering (and the mountain passes being shit right now), but she probably needs a hug. In the mean time, I hope they’re letting her hold him and talk to him. Mother’s touches do amazing for babies in the nicu. What she needs to do for herself is to allow herself to relax and know her baby is in the best hands right now and they’ll do everything to make sure he’s okay.
Continue to support her and check up on her. If you’re in a good spot financially send her a few bucks for some hospital food or coffee (even if she doesn’t need financial help, it’s a kind gesture). Remind her she’s not alone. She could join here too and I’m sure other moms will reassure her she’s not alone in this.
jenna tess··
@kimberly_the-preemie-mom, thank you!
I’ll send her a card with a visa gift card in it & maybe door dash her a few meals.
I just cannot imagine how she’s feeling. She said yesterday, “I’m just so jealous that Eric is home and healthy. I’d never wish him to be here, I’m just so jealous of you.” And I could literally feel my heart breaking for her. I told her that feeling jealous is so totally okay and normal - anyone would be feeling that way. I just worry about PPD. She doesn’t have a check-up until 6 weeks (Kaiser is the worst!) but, I feel like anyone In her position needs more support from the doctor. She needs to be checked up on. I’m going to call her in a bit and let her know (gently) that I’m here if she starts feeling down. That it’s okay to reach out to a doctor. I mean, what she’s going through is traumatic as hell. It’s be a miracle she didn’t suffer from some kind of postpartum anxiety or depression. I just went to be gentle in my approach.
Victoria ·
Honestly, there’s nothing anyone could have done to make me feel better about my babies being in the nicu. It’s a very empty feeling, and there’s a lot of guilt that comes with it. Let her vent to you, assure her that isn’t her fault, maybe send her a Starbucks gift card.
jenna tess··
Thank you.
I totally understand that there’s probably nothing I can do to even lift her spirits much, but I still want to try. Bless her heart. And yours! Nicu moms are so strong.
I’ll send her a visa gift card and maybe Door Dash her & her husband some meals.
Kayla ·
My heart goes out to your friend. My son was in there for 2 days and it was so hard. I couldn’t help but blame myself for him being there. It really helped having my friends check up on me and asking how we’re doing. I would just always be there for her. I know being far away it’s kind of hard to be there, just let her know you’re always thinking of them. We were at the kaiser Roseville nicu and their doctors and nurses were really great to us so they are in good hands.
jenna tess··
So - you most definitely were there at the same exact time! Her son has been in there at Kaiser Roseville since the 9th!
I’ll definitely keep in touch with her - I’m SO thankful your chubby little beautiful boy is with you now. I bet that was so scary.
Kayla ··
poor thing. Have they figured out what’s going on with him yet? It’s so scary in there. And so sad seeing all those poor tiny babies. Breaks my heart