I need advice and to vent:
When I went back to work, I thought it was a good idea for my mom to watch my baby. She FaceTimes me yesterday and she’s feeding her banana. I obviously got mad at the fact that I wasn’t going to feed her anything yet til I know she’s can sit up on her own with no help (my baby is 3 months). And not only that I feel like as her mother I should be able to be the first one to spoon feed her. I told my mom how I felt about wanting to be the first one to do all those things for her. And her response, “you already were the first one to feed her and bath her” (meaning when she was born). Soo today I reminded my mom that I wanted to start the baby off with veggies so she just want all the sweet things. Now I’m thinking if I should find someone else to watch my baby that’s gonna respect my wishes or suck it up and let my mom do what she’s gonna do with her?
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Just because she’s your mom does not mean you have to deal with her doing whatever she wants with your baby. Find someone else or have a serious talk with her. I’d be so mad. My mom did something similar the day I had to give my son formula I grabbed a bottle I already had (I received bottles as gifts for emergencies) and I went to the store came back and she gave him a different bottle because he “didn’t like the one I gave him” I was upset cause she didn’t ask me or tell me until after the fact she turned out to be right but still she didn’t bring it up with me she made her own decision about my 2 week old baby
Sit down and have a serious talk with her. She may be grandma but she clearly isn't up to date on baby safety, and she needs to respect your place as your child's mother. If she can't let you be the mom and call the shots, then grandma needs supervision herself and I'd absolutely find an alternative sitter.
My MIL tried some of this same crap when she first started sitting our son, and I've battled her as often as necessary to get her to follow my husband and my expectations. It's definitely not easy but I don't play when it comes to raising my son the way I think is appropriate.
Yikes! I’d definitely find someone else! I think it’s important to be able to trust your sitter since you are leaving your baby with them all day.