Well Nathaniel, your first birthday cake is done. My heart broke earlier this week when I realized…

Well Nathaniel, your first birthday cake is done. My heart broke earlier this week when I realized there really wasn't time to get this done between all three of us having the great flu of 2019 but I wasn't about to give up because despite no party or relatives joining, you baby boy, have had one amazing year worth celebrating. We have faced so much together and fought so many battles together this year and you have taught me so many things about love, patience, and myself. You taught me that there are moments when you have to conceded one battle in order to face a larger one, you taught me that it's okay to not be able to do it all. You taught me that even when it's hard you just keep pushing. You showed me beauty in imperfection. This cake is the perfect representation of our first year Natester. I made it in one day, with very little time and a trip to the walk in with both you and your sister being put on steroids. The feet on the bear didn't turn out so I improvised (as you have taught me well) and sculpted them out of frosting. The tip I initially wanted to use wasn't working and so I scraped off the frosting and restarted the cake at midnight. I ran out of butter when making the frosting so I had to be so careful with how I used it so that we didn't run out. Bear didn't want to stand on his own so I sculpted a base for him. Finally, I stood up from your cake and your daddy, as he does with us, had realized Mommy got tunnel vision again and hadn't eaten all day and he had dinner ready for me. I looked over at the clock and it was 3:16 am... (3/16 on your day) and I looked at your cake and for the first time in my life I didn't nit pick at everything it wasn't. I smiled and told Daddy, "He has a cake and I can't wait to see him with it." You and I Nate, we get through and it doesn't have to be roses or perfect or even beautiful. It just has to be us. Thank you for this wild start to a life I can't wait to see unfold. I love you so much tiny boy.