The toddler times are rough. Try to find joy in every day, praise for the smallest thing, and give one too many hugs. The fact that you first of all care- shows me that you are a good mom. We need to write off yesterday and focus on today; not beat ourselves up. Now I still get those thoughts in my head, but what really has helped is changing my narrative- if she’s having a huge tantrum in public or I lost my temper a bit and yelled, instead of me thinking to myself “I’m such a horrible mom, I can’t do anything right, everyone is staring and thinking I’m the worst mom ever” I make myself think “I’m a good mom, take a deep breath, it’s okay, we will get through this” or sometimes I’m thinking “it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay” then when we get to the car or I have a minute I then can clear my head and think of other positives. There are a lot of small things we can do to put the odds in our favor such as: bring a little bag of activities/toys that are only given when going out in public- it will keep it exciting and occupy her. Say what to do instead of what not to do: “sit down please” instead of “don’t stand on the chair”, if she’s having trouble following a basic instruction, give a set of easy ones she can do: touch your nose, turn around, jump up, great job, now close the door (or whatever instruction she has been ignoring), always bring two snacks when going out. And don’t sweat the small stuff, sometimes we need to pick our battles.