Really need to vent rn... Im not the type of person that likes putting my personal business out but I really need somebody to talk to....
So here it goes 😒. Yesterday I bought my first car ever for a $1000 it needs minor work ( no biggie), but it drives amazing. And my s/o is going off on me because I bought a car wow he was at work. So he says "I'm rushing". But I'm at home with two mfn kids all day everyday and when I need something done I have to wait til his off day just to get things done.. (Not fair) and with me and the kids having doctor appts all next week n he's gonna be working I'm tryna figure out what's the problem.. I'm starting to think🤔 he just dont want me to have a car.
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I would be pissed if my husband buys a car without consulting me first. We are a team. We make decisions together. Specially those that affect home economy.
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If u bought a car without my husband he would have my shit. Genus a mechanic and there could be so many hidin problems that can cost 1000s of dollars people are assholes anymore
My ex husband was like that. He didn't want me to have a job or a car. I had a Kia for a while after we got together but after I got pregnant with my now 3 year old, I had to stop working the job I had since it wasn't safe and he told me he'd continue to pay for it. Ended up never making a payment and ended up having my car repoed...
I asked my husband. He said it’s the lack of communication that’s a problem. He doesn’t see an issue with you getting the car, it’s just that you didn’t say “hey, I’m going to be looking at a car soon. Any advice?” Or something like that.
That's the point we've talked about it for two months... Yesterday I've even sent him pics of the car he was at work like always and my brother took me they even checked the car out and everything (being over protective as always) asked questions everything and he was cool til he saw the car n the drive way... Its like he don't want me to have a car at all n when I asked what was the problem he leaves for work smh
I’m sorry your partner isn’t supportive. I hope it turns out he’s just upset because he couldn’t help you inspect it, etc. If it was your money and not the families money saved for bills, and you felt confident in your purchase then it shouldn’t be a *huge* deal. Hopefully the car checks out and he realizes it’s a good thing that you have your own car. For me personally, I HATED sharing my car with my husband and was so stoked when I got a second car so we could each have one to use. We’re on one car right now (his car is completely buried under snow) and it’s such a pain! 😭
I've did everything paid bills... Order my kids clothes shoes etc offline... The car was the last thing on my list
How would you feel if he spent $1000 on something without talking to you?? That’s a lot of money to just spend without being on the same page. I think you should apologize for not talking it over with him and then ask him what he is most upset about. Apologizing for spending money without being on the same page can really help smooth out any upset feelings so you guys can actually talk. He may have been so shocked you did that without him that he was not able to express to you anything but frustration.
@mom1stwife2nd, I can totally understand your frustration then. I would be upset too. I would reconsider relying on someone who calls the money for your family “my money”.
@phoebesmommy point everything I do is for my kids I never have money for myself everything goes on them... I just don't see the problem what if it was an emergency n I needed to get them to the hospital or something he don't think like I do
@mom1stwife2nd, yeah that’s not ok. Do you see a future with him?? I would really struggle w that!!
Is he just mad because he didn’t get to look at it? I know my SO would be bothered just for the fact he didn’t get to check it over to make sure it was safe, and not going to fall apart. Had you been talking about getting a vehicle?
My oldest two brothers checked it out and yes for the past two months now I've been talking about getting a car and he's been working til close so he wouldn't have the time to check nothing out
My husband would be pissed if I didn’t talk about it with him first. He’d want to look at it too and make sure it was a good deal, and wouldn’t end up costing us a lot of money in the long run. He definitely wouldn’t be happy if I spent a grand on something that he didn’t know about.
I get why he would be upset especially if its the first time you bought a car. Theres sketchy people our there and unless you know about cars you can get really screwed. I would be so mad at my s/o if he just went out and spent 1k on a car not because of the controling part but the fact of safety. Ive seen people buy cars that have a cracked engine block (engine is bad at that point) but because the car ran and had no major signs they bought it. A car can run "fine" even with major issues and then just randomly have major issues. My s/o has zero clue about cars and he knows that i grew up working on my cars. To me its not a control thing but more of an experience thing.
By the way I have spent 650 on my first car and had it for a while but that's because I could work on it myself which made it way cheaper.
And that's y I didn't go alone... He was at work like always but ive sent him pics n talked to him about it n my brothers works on car so I had them to go with me cause they no more about cars then I do
Easiest way to find out - ask him why he's so upset that you bought the car.
I would be pissed if my husband buys a car without consulting me first. We are a team. We make decisions together. Specially those that affect home economy.
See he buys cars every 2 years without talking to me.. Spend his money on himself n when I.get something that I need its a problem I don't understand... I didn't go by myself I didn't blow all my money I kept him n the circle... I'm not understanding what did I do wrong besides buy a car
#1 Your an Adult you don’t need anyone’s Permission to buy a car ! I have always been independent.. So in my opinion as a 40yr old woman,,this isn’t 1920s where women depend on their husband for all! I give stay at home Mom’s a lot of credit ! You can always take the car to a car place to check for free that the engine is in good condition,ac works,radiator also and all other things as well. Women should Encourage other women be proud you bought your own car feels good ! Ps ... if your man is upset and doesn’t think you should have a car sounds very controlling !
My husband would be pissed if I bought a car without him not because he is controlling but because we’re a team and a car is a big deal and a lot of money and he probably wanted to make sure you weren’t getting ripped off and everything was working right and they weren’t lying about anything
My husband wouldn't have necessarily mad at me but he definitely would've been frustrated if I bought something without his opinion while we were dating. Not out of control but out of concern. To make sure I pick the best car my money can buy. Something safe and reliable! It's hard to know exactly what you're getting with cars unless you know how to examine the engine and inspect properly. I'd be so afraid I'd pick a bad one!
That's y my brothers was with me... I never go anywhere alone especially with my kids... And my brothers no about cars they work on them that's y I don't understand y he so mad... When he was cool about it over the phone
Did you consult with him first? A car is a big decision. My husband would want to come with me so he could take a look at the car too and make sure it’s safe and a good investment.
Yes we talked about for two months.. Yesterday while I was out looking for a car I was sending em pics and everything he was cool with it and my brothers took me... That's how I got the car for a $1000
Because he don’t want you to have freedom.
Its not like I have friends because I dont.. I'm always depending on ppl for rides n its crazy putting gas n they cars n paying them for taking me n my kids to appts smh
Yes, you definitely should have a car available to you! You never know when you might have to rush to urgent care for a child’s illness, and you shouldn’t need to stop to find a ride in times like that.
That's exactly what ive been saying for two months.. Thank u 💯
My husband would be furious if I bought a car without him. Not because he’s controlling but because we are a team and a car is a big decision...I get your reason but I understand why he’s mad
I thought the same thing while I was reading this: that he doesn't want you to have a car. I don't want to put a negative bug in your ear but some people don't want you to be independent, they want you to need them so they can control your every move. This may not be true in his case but I feel like you're doing the right thing. He should be proud of you.
I thought the same thing while I was reading this: that he doesn't want you to have a car. I don't want to put a negative bug in your ear but some people don't want you to be independent, they want you to need them so they can control your every move. This may not be true in his case but I feel like you're doing the right thing. He should be proud of you.