*VENT/Is there anything I can do?

I wouldn't even entertain the thought until we're actually married. I don't think he can adopt her with her bio father still holding rights.

@rese no bio dad would have to sign his rights over to him.

Yeah I had that talk with her. I left it at she has to speak with her bio father about it. That's between them two and what she wants and he allows. I will say that when I was previously married, this wasn't an issue (She was younger as well though) so it's just kind of different to hear and process

@dawnrose, it's fine. Okay, of course I wouldn't allow my daughter to just change her last name to my boyfriend's without us being married. That wouldn't even make sense. I'm just addressing the issue that she wants to change it.

I mentioned we don't share the same last name because I just wanted to stress the fact that this was random. There's nothing I did or have that would cause her to feel this way.

As far as last names, I guess I just don't believe as much in titles as some. Like "husband/wife" "step-" "mother/father"

I don't believe in people getting titles just because of blood.. You have to earn those roles/relationships. You can be a biological mother/father yet abuse your child. Or married but adulterous. To me it's more about relationships and action than anything.

So a last name being changed to me would be up to my daughter. What she wants based on the relationships she defines.

@rese, her father also has to agree to. One of my nieces mothers want it to change her last name to her husband‘s last name. The only way my brother agreed to get his last name off her name was if Her husband adopted my niece. But don’t be surprise if he fights you I’m keeping her name the same because that is his daughter. I’m sorry but your five-year-old really doesn’t have a say in it “legally” You’re going to have to prove your case why it’s in the best interest for your daughter to change her name to your boyfriends last name. And without the “title” of being your husband the court will most likely not approve it. It’s all a nice thought of being one big happy family with the same last name, without any “titles” but that’s not how the world works. Sorry if I sound like a bitch but there are steps you have to follow and laws that also protect the bio dad just like the laws that protect the mother.

@dawnrose, lol you don't sound like a bitch. I'm fully aware of the legality of it all. When my daughter and I had the discussion, I told her that I don't think that her bio father would like that and he had to agree to it. She told me if he didn't she'll tell the court she doesn't want to visit with him anymore lol sorry that's not funny but it's like she's 5 but she very well understood.

Again, I'm not saying that I want to change her name or would allow her to do so prior to marriage and myself having his last name.

I was talking about titles in regard to your comment about it being disrespectful.

Yeah he would have to. I thought about that but then it creates an issue for when I do get married. And it's depriving my unborn of their Father's last name for the benefit of my daughter. I wouldn't want that to be an issue in the future.

Yeah. I wish it was that easy. With so much stuff. Her biological father isn't the nicest. Like he operates off of what's best for HIM. Not her. His pride wouldn't even allow him to consider her feelings smh it's sad

@rese, yea I know exactly how that is but you as her mother I think you should do what makes HER happy if he always does what’s best for him he shouldn’t have the privilege of her carrying his name anyway. From your post it sounds like your daughter loves her bonus dad and wants to feel more included as a family with the new baby coming.