Sooooo....I definitely failed. I could not wait until our Anniversary to tell my husband that we're expecting another little one. It was stressing me out ya'll lol. I didn't tell anyone but you guys, so I was going a bit crazy. I told him that I was having mood swings a couple of days prior to me finding out that I was pregnant and me telling him the news and he had the nerve to laugh and say "You're now figuring this out, what else is new?"🙊😑. Needless to say when I told him, I had no real intentions of mentioning anything to him. He was upstairs on the computer and I just went up there just to see what he was doing and get away to spend what time we could together while the girls were entertaining themselves. He was busy looking through his mail, so I pulled the chair back from the desk and plopped myself down onto his lap. I gazed into his eyes for what was not even 5 seconds, you know trying to make that love connection and I busted out laughing lol. Of course he was confused. He didn't know if to laugh with or at me, so he raised his eyebrows and with a little smirk said..."what's so funny?" I said nothing. I put my head down on his shoulders, looked back up at him and laughed again. Smh. Man, I couldn't help myself. For whatever reason, i felt the pull to just spill the beans. Before I said anything though, he stopped what he was doing and just sat there staring at me. It looked like he had this knowing look in his eyes, but he wasn't saying anything, he just kept that amused look on his face and kept asking me, "what happened?" "What's so funny?" At his point I stopped laughing, but couldn't stop smiling. I told him that I had something big to tell him. He said..."you got a job?"🙄 I laughed and said, kinda, but no, something a bit bigger. Then his looked changed a bit and he said, "ok, what is it, just tell me", so I got up from his lap and looked at him, trying to communicate with my eyes that we're pregnant lol. He just kept staring at me, then I said, I can't keep it in any more ,because it's just stressing me out. I need to tell somebody and his smile fell a little and his eyes opened a bit wider and he said, "ah man". So I confirmed what I thought he was thinking and said that we're having another baby. First he just fixed his gaze onto the computer screen and gave a little smile, but looking off into space. I just stood there looking at him and he just kept saying "one more, wow, one more. (We always spoke about having one more, but not this soon lol) At this point, my youngest twin, came to the stairs and I went down to get her. I came back up with her and he just looked at her smiling and shaking his head. He didn't say anything to me after, so I took our daughter downstairs and just left him to take it all in. When he did come down, he came to me and said, "we're having babies like bunnies" lol. I told him, yeah, it seems like every year I'm pregnant.

I felt relieved, because I don't like keeping things from him, it makes me feel terrible. I'm guilty of pranking him with being pregnant. I literally did it a couple of weeks ago and tested just to make sure. I took the ovulation test and a pregnancy test. The ovulation test came back positive and the pregnancy test came back negative. So I showed him the ovulation test and it looked like he almost got a cold sweat🙊lol. I'm done with doing that though. Needless to say, he said that he'll need to see the doctor confirm it lol🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️. He's been looking at me and smiling a lot though and just coming up to me and giving me random hugs.

I'm still nervous about this pregnancy, because I don't feel like I'm emotionally ready to be honest. My twins are 20 months old and still breastfeeding. I haven't had my body to myself since my oldest was born. I'm feeling exhausted and wondering how I'm going to muster up the energy to do all that I need to do. My oldest, before I actually found out that I was pregnant, would come to me and put her hands on my belly. She kept telling me that there's a baby in my belly. Of course naturally, I thought she was calling me fat and tried to explain that mommy is just bloated. She said, no, there's a baby in there. I said no there's not, mommy just has a lot of air in her tummy. She looks at my belly and says, ok mommy and walks away. From the mouths of babes, she knew before I did😫.

I'm just not sure what I'm going to do, but I'm just going to keep moving forward. My energy is shot and my body is just tired. My sister told me yesterday, dang, you can never catch a break lol. My period didn't show up for 1.5 years with my first. 3 months after it came, I got pregnant with my twins. Same story, my period didn't show up for 1.5 years with my twins and 3 months after it came, I'm pregnant. It's an every 2 year thing. I told my husband to stay away from me when my period comes back. We have to do something because it feels like I'm always pregnant and always breastfeeding lol. Smh. Here's to baby #3 or #4. We love you already.