Bit of a weird one tonight ladies. My daughters three in August - my husband is absolutely desperate for another but I’m so content with just the one. I love watching my little girl grow, but we have got into an amazing routine, Poppy sleeps for 13 hours a night, she goes to the childminders, I feel like we have got some of our freedom back again, I don’t use a pram, I’m no longer lugging a changing bag around with me, we own our house, we can afford several abroad holidays a year and have a lovely little life that I’m so proud of. I feel like another baby would take us back and stop us from doing everything we can do now. How do you handle this? My husbands so disappointed every time I say I’m happy as we are and I feel so guilty seeing how upset he gets? 😢
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Oh my goodness it’s so nice to speak to someone in near enough an identical situation to me.
We have ample of room in our house, we are desperate to find another house to renovate and then rent this one out, we put an offer on one not long ago and it fell through so I know with me going off work that would have to be put on hold. In September Poppy will have 30 hours free childcare and my childminder is happy to keep her on the same hours now and save the remainder hours for the school holidays when I won’t get the childcare. So the same as you my childcare wouldn’t change, I only work 3 days a week however I’m currently on a project with work I’ve worked for the same company for near enough 10 years and at the end of August we don’t know whether we will relocate to another location or be made redundant. I’m fully aware if I was pregnant when that happened they would have to pay me redundancy and full maternity.
Poppy idolises my mum, absolutely worships her I know if I was in hospital she would be in good hands, it’s more I don’t want to be away from her, I miss her terribly when we are apart. I’ve been in hospital several times since having her and they’ve always given me a side room so she can stay with me all day.
Your little boy sounds identical to Poppy she socialises amazingly (well apart from going through the “mine” stays at the moment)
We’ve tried for 18 months to have a baby and I think I’ve got to the stage I was so disheartened every month it made me appreciate what I have and how lucky I already am. I don’t know whether I want to go back to newborns, buggies, changing bags. I love how Poppy walks with me and communicates and laughs, I know new born babies are cute and I adore them but it’s different when they are your own. Poppy is also an amazing sleeper I dread the night feeds and being up all night. Poppy has problems with her chest and gets a lot of chest infections but even then she will get into bed with me and just snuggle to settle down.
I suppose I’m so used to just having poppy and her being the best person in my life I can’t imagine bringing another baby into that scenario xxx
@catherineln25, that all makes sense!
I’m dreading the newborn stage in many ways because of the feeding and sleepless nights but at the same time knowing I really don’t have to think about much during the day such as work has helped. My boy is chesty too and comes in with me which won’t be changing!
I can only imagine what trying for a baby with no luck is like we were very fortunate that it happened so quickly both times for us.
I know what you mean about the newborn stage of buggies etc but this time I also feel way more relaxed about it all! Realistically my life revolves around my little boy so we are not out the house for that many hours so how much will a baby actually need? I will buy myself a really nice backpack change bag this time so it’s not in the way. Buggy wise my little boy won’t need one much longer so going to try a buggy board and a baby jogger because they are a quick fold and light take up very little space.
The mine phase do they ever grow out of it 🤷🏻♀️😂 I got texts from my childminder two days in a row that he had been hit by others for not sharing toys (he was obviously ok) but it’s all character building and hopefully help him settle in nursery next April 😂.
My work is fully secure so makes my life a little easier that way as well. Only you know what’s best. Just think if you do change your mind poppy will be in 30hours free and maybe a little time at childminder still so wouldn’t be that much time away from you for baby then baby would be up and doing the same before you know it.
We are done at two though! When this baby arrives I will look into long term options of contraception right away! I’m doing built to be a mum of three
Oh my goodness hello beautiful lady!! How are you? Congratulations on number two how far gone are you? ❤️❤️
Me and Darek tried for a good 18 months for baby number two and I think I got disheartened and started concentrating on what we had with Poppy. Not just that but since having Poppy the whole side of my dads family stopped bothering including my nanna and Poppy has been in the middle of all of that and I can’t help but think I don’t want another baby bought into that atmosphere. You loose so many people when you have kids. Her godfather and godmother got bored of her after a few months and they haven’t bothered either.
So I feel like I’ve worked bloody hard despite all of this to give poppy the most amazing life I can give her. I’ve wrapped her up in bubble wrap so she can’t get hurt. She’s my parents only grandchild and my sisters only niece so she’s very much used to being on her own. I don’t want to cause her anymore upset xxxx
I’m good thanks hun! Hope you’re all doing well😘 and I’ll be 20 weeks on Thursday! Going so fast already!
Ahh yes I totally get how disheartening it is! It’s so hard and you definitely just start to look at what you’ve already got and are thankful for! We just said if it happens it happens, we didn’t want to stress over it so we just agreed to go with the flow!
I totally get what you mean though! As much as Sophia has grown she’s still a little girl and has so much more growing to do! Just explain to him that poppy is still so young.. as much as she’s independent and starting nursery soon, she’s still your baby and you want to cherish it all while she’s young and if a baby comes along in the future then that’s also a blessing and I’m sure if you do have another poppy would adapt! Sophia tells everyone she’s a big sister!🤣 although he’s not here yet!
It’s not a decision that’s easily made over night and I’m sure your partner will understand that, at the end of the day it’s you that’s got to carry the baby and give birth 🤣! Don’t stress about it, I’d just wait till poppy is in nursery and then go from there 😘 xxxxx
Hi hun! Long time no speak!😘
If you’re absolutely adamant that you don’t want any more then maybe sit down with your partner and explain? But if you may consider it just explain that right now you’re not quite ready but when your little girl is a bit older you’d consider trying again?
It’s scary thinking about how life will change with another baby, I’m pregnant with baby number 2 and I think time to time how different it’ll be with 2 kids! Although at the same time it’s so exciting because Sophia is excited about becoming a big sister and having that big girl role 😍. I honestly can’t wait, even though I know it’ll be stressful at times, it’ll all be worth it!
Every pregnancy is different and hopefully you wouldn’t suffer with the awful sickness if you were to try again! Don’t feel pressured into anything just yet, sit down and have a chat with him and hopefully you can both come to an agreement xxx
I fully understand where you are coming from. We decided on another baby and will have a 26-27 month age gap. I did worry about finances, dividing time, my little boy loosing me, stress, work, childcare, holidays, etc etc!
For me I felt we own our house we have more than enough space and disposable income on my husbands wage for me to take another year off. Have just been informed I’m getting a great pay rise which has helped as I will go back to work three days instead of four so my childcare costs will be near in identical to what they are now. Nappies I used cloth so don’t need to buy again. We are going to America in November this year and not sure where else in March so holidays won’t be compromised - I’m making the most of my time off with them!
Like you I have spent very little time away from my little boy he’s my life and yes don’t do much at night but I chose family time three years ago trying for a baby. I have allowed my mum to have him overnight three times now and he has settled so well! It’s reassuring knowing he will be ok if I’m in hospital. I am lucky my husband works away and can come home with a day if I needed him to, so he would be there for our boy.
Little boy used to being in his own but he also socialises so well and loves babies! I have always tried to make him as independent as possible (within reason as I’m protective) so he plays in-house on his own and lets me know when he wants me to join in, he always has me at soft play or outside of house and that won’t change!
Maybe sit down and speak through how you’re feeling with your husband? If one baby is all you want then that’s what it should be. Xx