I’m very problematic lately. But hopefully some of you can help me with this. I have a two year old daughter. And I’m engaged to a guy who is not her father. I’ve raised my daughter alone for nearly 2 years. No child support no help parenting. Nothing. Therefore when it comes to him wanting to be her dad and co parent with me. I don’t know how. I want to call all the shots with her by myself. I have it in my head that i know what’s best. An ill fight him non stop until I get my way with her. Because to me she’s mine only and I don’t know how to let him be a parent too. It’s causing problems. But I can admit I’m the problem. I just don’t know how to fix it.
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@massgirl, thank you. I hope I can get past it. We’ve been together going on a year but not a year yet. Some things I feel that I know more about and if he will try to tell me otherwise. I feel like he tries to over parent me at times.
How long have y’all been together? What exactly aren’t you allowing him to be involved in?
We’ve been together almost a year now. We live together. An are engaged. But he wanted to pick her up from day care yestday because he got off work before me. Which he does often but he wanted to get his hair cut. And I told him to leave her in day care while he done that. She has very bad anxiety and is on medication for it. So going to places like that she will freak out. I didn’t want her to have a panic attack and he kept telling me she wouldn’t. But I know my child. Much better than him.
@kayla.lawson, well in that case I see why you said no. He shouldn’t be upset. Plus who wants to take a child to get a hair cut? That doesn’t sounds fun
If he is gonna be in her life then he can help but in my eyes step patents can ground the child or time out but never spank. Hit a take baby steps and talk to him
If your engaged then I'm sure he's seen you parent plenty and understands how you do it. I suggest talking with him and going over things that you don't want done as punishment so he knows what you think is unacceptable. Also explain how you feel and talk about smaller common occurrences and see how he would handle the situation, it may ease your mind to hear how he would handle it. For me and my husband we are mostly on the same page but on bigger issues we always discuss how to handle it.
I can understand how you feel that way he hasn't been there for more than half her life you have been the only one there you know her likes her wants her routine he does not. I don't think you were a problem I think you're justified in my opinion. But at least now he is trying and you could always talk to him tell him her likes her wants her needs and her routine and tell him he needs to follow them. You have her full time what you say goes period. Just give him a chance and if he doesn't follow you'll know by your daughter's Behavior and then you can try to talk to him again and tell him that if he's not going to follow your rules then he's not going to get her
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How long how have you been together? With my fiance he's been in my daughter's life since she was 9 months and she's 4.5 but we moved in together when she was almost 3. Before we moved in I had a very Frank conversation with him. If he's going to help me parent and be her father than that means through everything. When she's sick, when she's good, when she's bad, night and day. Sometimes he gets self conscious especially when it comes to punishment but overall he does just as much as I do sometimes more. She's yours biologically but you have to get past this point or she'll learn to only come to you and resentment will build, especially if there is another child that is his biologically. Good luck!