Someday I plan on adopting kids of my own. I know what it feels like to not feel accepted, wanted, loved and everything…

Someday I plan on adopting kids of my own. I know what it feels like to not feel accepted, wanted, loved and everything in between. I know what it’s like to be bounced around and moved so many times and what it’s like to be in one group home. I know what it is like to hate everything and everyone around you including yourself and how you always think everything is your fault and for constantly apologizing because you think your doing it all wrong, for always wondering why it had to been you to get taken away from your family and how I think it’s my fault but it’s actually my parents fault for the dope, and inconsistency of being parents that didn’t know how to love me and my siblings because they couldn’t love theirselves. I regret so many decisions in my life and I wonder if I could have done better in my life and now that I had got adopted 9 years ago I still feel left out and out of place because my adopted parents on my dads side just don’t approve of me or truly accept me and I’m sorry but I can’t get over it because as a child and adult you just want to be loved and to have a family when in reality family is not how it should be. I’m about to be 23 years old on Monday with a beautiful daughter and one on the way and after everything I have gone through and still are going through emotionally and mentally I’m not giving up no matter what because I’ve seen how that game goes and that game will not end in the same cycle my birth parents took, my kids will have better and be better than I am and they know just how much I love them and someday when I’m on my own and when I get my college diploma and get my dream home I want to adopt and I want my kids to love those adopted children no matter what because I want a huge family I want my home to peace and comfort for anybody that comes to my door even for my friends and their friends someday as well even though my daughter is 2 and I haven’t had my second child yet I just need them to know that they are loved and I’ve tried to give and do for them the best I can that even though it’s hard sometimes I want them to know that mommy has them even they are old and married if their own. My dreams is their dreams and their dreams will forever be mine. But I’m not stopping now just like I never stopped at 7 when I got took with my siblings. My children will see that no matter what you go through in life you can conquer the world if you take one day at a time and always have faith. My life isn’t over just yet but it’s only the beginning!! ❤️❤️