Alright where are all my blunt rnr ladies at? I need advice and don’t really have anybody in my life…
Alright where are all my blunt rnr ladies at? I need advice and don’t really have anybody in my life to really talk to about it. So. First things first. My in-laws (mil, fIL, SIL, cousins, aunts) have all been horrible to me for years. Years. Basically, nearly my entire marriage with DH. I honestly haven’t done anything to them, even my husband admits he doesn’t know what the problem they have with me is either. They’ve told their entire family that I’m basically this horrible monster and how I’ve mistreated them horribly. The only thing I can think of is that we don’t give them money or let them “borrow” money anymore and they’re not allowed to be alone with LO because they’ve made some irresponsible decisions and DH and I are not comfortable leaving LO alone with them at all, but naturally the blame all shifts to me. They’ve done and said NUMEROUS fucked up things to me where I’m concerned. Fast forward to five years later, I’m absolutely exhausted from all the fighting, arguing, the running around behind everyone’s backs and talking crazy amounts of shit. The death of my grandfather has left me very, very broken and tired and I can’t take much more at this point. I’ve been looking inside myself and just trying to have a positive life and doing my best to be a better person. It’s hard to live a positive life surrounded with all this negativity and depression/anxiety doesn’t help things either. So here is my question. So I offer a text/call (they live far away and we don’t see them much) saying something along the lines of “I’m sorry if I’ve said/done anything to you to offend you these past several years. Things have been tense/awkward between all of us for too long and we need to at least have an effort made on both sides to remedy that and at least reach for tolerance,” or do I say “fuck it,” and not even bother? Our last two visits were a lot better than they had been but you could still tell thinks we’re so damn tense. So I guess what I’m saying is, what would you do?
BakingDaddy ·
I'd cut them out. Block them from social media, out of sight and out of mind. They could go through my husband if they want to speak to the kids and have a relationship with them, but they won't have time alone with them.
I have done this btw. I had all my in laws blocked for a year, and after that I had all of my posts on Facebook set so they didn't see anything I posted so they couldn't make shitty comments on my stuff.
You can try reaching out with your text if you don't think it would cause more problems. I really hope your relationship with yours gets better or you do whatever will make you happy.
Breanna James··
I agree with all of you. It’ll most likely fall on deaf ears I’m just honesty so sick of all the petty shit and just haven’t felt like I can deal with it anymore lately.
@bodybycheetos, I actually won’t block them because the moment I do they will post a whole shit ton of pics of my son online when I don’t want any of him online at all. Not even from my own family.
@nap.queen, yes, most likely it will fall on deaf ears.
@theirmommie, and if there isn’t a problem they always make one. I’m just tired of it.
@oceanhalo, none of them reached out to me when my grandfather died. They had sent a sympathy card but that was only because DH’s aunt was sending one. I might wait and see. Once I get my head straight I will probably feel way differently.
Victoria ·
Seeing as it’s been years, and you didn’t do anything in first place, saying something may just fall on deaf ears. You could try, but 🤷🏻♀️
Shantel McKnight·
I'd say fuck it. They will continue to make you the bad person in the future should another problem arise.
Whitni·
Even if you reach out good chance they will screw you over again and cause you even more hurt and stress. I wouldn't bother. I'd try your best to make peace with it though so it doesn't effect you mentally.
Just Another Spider Riding Aussie 🕷🇦🇺·
I agree with the other ladies, it will probably make no difference and just stress and upset you more that you tried and they're still horrible. I would just have as little to do with them as you possibly can. And being the petty bitch I am, I would be the one making things feel awkward for them!
Gdjjdkd·
Wow your in-laws sound just like my mother in law she had attack me since even before I marry her son she has said all this horrible things about me basically i’m a monster to all her family and friends it took 6 years of her living with us and make my life a living hell she attack me and the sad part is that my husband always by her side all he says that she is just jealous because she has no husband and her other son doesn’t want to do anything with her he call her crazy and toxic he lives out state but never visits her or call the last time he saw her was our wedding 8 years ago so I cut all ties with her less than 2 years ago I was to the point where I wanted to divorced my husband finally she is out my house so no if I was you I will not bother with your in laws is their loss not yours you didn’t do nothing wrong people they just decide they will not like you and make your life a living hell.
Shania·
I may be alone here, but I think it's worth a shot to mend the relationship! Sure it may not work, but really it can't make it worse if you're already considering cutting them out... even if it doesn't fix the relationships it may help make them more tolerable. I would say for your son and husbands sake it's worth reaching out and trying to help make things better. If I were you I'd reach out, but just not have high hopes that it'll magically make everything better. Keep your expectations low and keep your guard up a little. Any chance is better than nothing!
Mommynes·
I know how much of a toll your loss has taken on you. My advice would be to wait a little bit. You’re so fragile right now. However, I do encourage you to try and mend these relationships. Be the bigger person. I know the tension is also taking a toll on your husband and eventually may take a toll on your relationship.
Definitely don’t block them. That’ll send the message that you’ve given up and don’t care and you do care. Also, please don’t read too much into the fact that they didn’t reach out after his passing. Some people just aren’t inclined to offer condolences.
Hope you’re feeling better babe ❤️