This is like a month old rant but I'm still upset bcuz this type of thing always happens. So I'm a christian and I was raised not celebrating halloween. I don't like the holiday and I don't involve my kids in it in any way. My mother in law knows this because I've shared that before. And last halloween, she went ahead and bought my son a costume without asking me! Then this year for halloween, I now have two kids and she bought them costumes again and I told my husband I didn't like that and all he had to say was "Well, she already bought them" WTF! HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR WHAT I SAY. ITS ALWAYS HIS MOM OVER ME WHEN IM MY KIDS'S MOM! LIKE UGH, I SERIOUSLY WISH I HAD A DIFFERENT MIL.
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I know I'm probably chiming in late lol but I have a mom friend who is a Jehovah's witness and she struggles with this because no one else on her side of the family sees the way she does. I have a Christian mom friend also who is not JW and just this year she felt convicted about what Halloween is and celebrating it is in essence celebrating 1 of the primary important holidays of the church of satan so she pulled the plug . She didn't judge anyone else who didn't feel that way but she asked that people respected her decision as these were her children that she's trying to raise with God infused values and God put it on her heart that regardless of how you're celebrating Halloween, you're still celebrating it. It doesn't matter if you're just in it for the costume and candy, you are still celebrating a pagan day. Repetition to the people who don't get it and just please respect your decisions. Being that it's a family member You can thank her for thinking of the kids but please don't do it again because they will not be wearing it as you don't celebrate Halloween. Kindly tell her that if she chooses to do it again it will be money wasted. Just because she buys a costume doesn't mean you have to put it on. Go with your gut and go with your heart and do what you know is right And just be tactful and considerate when telling her no, you've got this lol.
So your husband obviously celebrates Halloween, did you two discuss before you had kids how that was going to work? You both should have a say it what your kids celebrate.
Then as a Christian, you know to pray about it and then speak directly to your MIL from a place of love, not out of anger. This is a good article on how to resolve conflict from a biblical standpoint.
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Completely get where you're coming from, I wouldn't argue with her, wouldn't talk to her about it, I'd throw them in the trash, then throw left over food on them, then put the trash out. She doesn't have to listen to you or respect your wishes, but you don't have to keep the things she keeps buying or spare her feelings. I hope your boys didn't wear the costumes.
Is your husband okay with not celebrating it? If he’s okay with it then the two of you have to decide together what to celebrate.