Any moms here suffer from depression/anxiety? I already knew as a kid I was different, I was always just sad and I would…

Any moms here suffer from depression/anxiety?

I already knew as a kid I was different, I was always just sad and I would overthink a lot! When I was about 15 I started to drink and smoke, my parents found out when I was 17. I did it because it helped so much, just not to overthink so much, it helped me be happy. My parents tried to help me, they got me help with a therapist which it did help for a year, and I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety at that point. I was offered medication to help cope with it, i refused it, and said I can fight this without it. (Side note: I was sexually molested at 11 and that also triggered me a lot, I tried to kill my self so many times, somehow it always never worked so I started to cut myself until the age of 20) back to the story, I failed miserably at trying to help myself. I went back to drinking and smoking. I never ever did other drugs because of my anxiety, constantly saying I might die if I do it, what if you get raped, what if you get killed. So I never did other drugs. (Side note: I was actually raped at 16 by a friend who put a rape pill in my drink, I knew it was him, because my underwear was inside out and I was only with him) So the funny thing is at 21 I met my current fiancée, and he would help me so much, I stopped drinking the way I use to, he made me feel worthy and beautiful. I told him my story and he still loved him. Since I’ve been with him for almost 7 years now I’ve had my good days and my bad days. I’ll be 28 on the 27th of November, and I feel as the older I’ve gotten the worse it is now then it ever was. I’m constantly overthinking, over eating and I barely sleep. I feel so sad sometimes and I feel like I just I wanna disappear,I feel helpless. I feel like my world is seriously ending, that my anxiety is killing me, that it would be better if I just end it, but my son and my fiancée are the reasons why I keep fighting this every day! It’s a damn struggle but here I am, telling my story, hoping that I’m not alone. Because I feel alone, even with all these people that love me, they haven’t given up on me and I’m not giving up, and neither should you. Let us help each other, love each other, because I care! And if I can do it, so can you. Feel free to message me your story, I’ll listen, I’ll reply, I am here for you!