Sorry everyone life has been so busy but I had my baby girl on October 15th 2018 at 6:56am. There is nothing that will ever prepare you for the miracle of labor and delivery. I thought I was more then ready and prepared. But there’s nothing like a little Someone needing your full attention 24/7 or a little someone needing the milk that only mommy can make. It’s exhausting it’s tiring it’s hard and sometimes you feel like the bad guy for saying no. Even though you know it’s for there own good. It’s hard early in the morning to hear those little cries and not want to get out of bed but know that no one else is going to do it for you. Again it’s hard but it’s beautiful. I went into labor without an epidural. It hurt and I know there will never be another kind of pain to match that. It hurt even more when I had to bear down and push her out. There’s no possible way to describe what happens and how you feel how it felt. My baby was born 4lbs and 7.9 Oz we stayed at the hospital for 48hrs and then we were released to go home. Now she’s about 8 Oz now. I love her more then anything I just wish I would have known. No one told me that there’s no possible way to not tear. No one told me that as soon as my baby was born that instant connection wouldn’t be there. It’s taken time she’s now 2weeks and I’m just starting to bond with her. No one told me how when your pregnant you have hormones but nothing as bad as after you have your baby. There was so much I was nieve about and so much I had yet to learn. I thought reading books would prepare me but it didn’t. No one told me that Lamaze classes have gone down hill. Instead of learning and preparing yourself for labor and delivery it’s a class they do giving you a bunch of head knowledge instead of actual practice. When I went into labor I was scared and unsure of what to do. I had no idea what I was doing. I almost passed out many times. I labored for 11 almost 12hrs before she came. No one told me if I couldn’t pee in labor that they would stick a catheter inside me to take my pee. No one explained to me how wonderful and painful it was to give birth. I knew it would hurt but not that bad. I didn’t know that there would be a crash course where I would get so depressed I wouldn’t want to eat or even do anything. I never thought I would never want to hold my baby or feel so disconnected with her I thought there was something wrong with me. No I didn’t take a shit while it after I had her. My body got rid of everything right before she came. No one even told me that while your in labor you feel like shit you feel so sick. You throw up and I mean you throw everything up even water. I didn’t eat anything which made me lucky so when I threw up it was only stomach acid. No one told me that when they put numbing stuff down there before they stitch you up that they don’t wait for it to actually do anything they just go right in and your like I can feel everything. No one told me that after you have your baby they push and message your stomach and it hurts but not as bad as contractions. I would tell any first time mom at least once do it without an epidural. The reason isn’t to say I did it without pain medicine but to say I was able to feel everything. Like you can actually feel your contractions coming closer together and feel yourself move from stage to stage until you feel this urge to push and even though the nurses are yelling at you to hold it until the doctor gets there your body will push anyway on it’s own. Trust me you will end up pushing when your at 10 centimeters. No one told me how you walk like an old women right after you’ve had that baby. They also give you these huge pads to wear for all the blood and stuff coming out. It’s nice 9months of periods flooding out. No one told me how when someone says something about me I don’t give a fuck but when they bring my child into it it’s full out war. So for any first time moms this is my little piece for you. Just know no matter how much you read or how much knowledge you gain you will not be prepared or ready to be a mom. It’s like as soon as there out the real challenge begins. Just don’t give up all those sleepless nights will get better. Lol at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I’m learning to go on 1hr or a half hour of sleep a day and still get to appointments and everything else on time with a screaming baby that keeps on making dirty diapers. If I’m lucky I’ll get 4hrs. No one told me that after you have the baby and you’ve heard it cry and cry and cry and your tired sometimes your going to break down and cry because your so fuckin frustrated and your baby won’t shut the fuck up but instead of yelling you take a deep breath and sooth them while inside your head your just like really? It’s frustrating when you feed them, burp them, change there diaper, and rock them to sleep yet as soon as you put them in the bassinet they wake right up and the screaming starts all over again. Then you just want to scream but you don’t. You pull yourself together and you take care of baby. I’m still learning about parenting and it’s a struggle but I don’t regret it one bit. It’s a struggle that I know I’ll have for 18years I’ll have new challenges hopefully my baby doesn’t grow up and decide to become a teen mom. I would freak the fuck out. But I would handle it like everything else. No one told me that breast pumping would hurt so bad and your nipples would get so sore then when your body makes more milk it would make your boobs get stiff and rock hard which hurts like a bitch. It’s frustrating when you’ve carried a baby for 9months and went through labor and delivery only to realize your baby is a Daddy’s girl. 🙄 Lol for now just wait until she’s older and those hormones start kicking I’m sure mommy will be the favorite then. I love my baby more then anything but it is nice to have Grandma take baby even if it’s for an evening or a night just to get some sleep or some me time or something. Anyways cheers to new moms.