Alright ladies, I need some venting and probably advice😬Maybe someone to bring me back down to earth 🤷🏽‍♀️. Kind of a long post so bare with me. TMI warning!

Hubby underwent a vasectomy 9/7. He expressed being open to a third child just maybe not now but also didn’t want to wait and be older either. I was open to another child but I didn’t want to give birth again. We agreed 2 kids was enough and he got the procedure. We’ve had sex approx 10 times since.

I was in my fertile week and we had sex the night of my ovulation day (fairly sure I ovulated since I had cramps that morning) with pull out method. He isn’t concerned, thinks he is “diluted enough” I don’t think that’s a thing but no use arguing with him 🙄

We also had sex the two days following my ovulation with POM.

I’m currently 5dpo and had some cramps last night along with tonight. Very faint and mild but kinda unusual. Also gassy which is kinda unusual. I’ve been searching and researching like mad wether or not this is a sign.

Here is the kicker: I feel like I’ll almost be disappointed if Im not pregnant. It’s dumb, since we agreed we weren’t going to have anymore. I’m finding myself kinda wanting these things to be signs and to get that BFP.

Am I being stupid? Has anyone had implantation cramps early? I’m just kinda lost and have no one to talk to about this. I’m already feeling a little sad that most likely we are in the clear and not pregnant which I KNOW is stupid since I don’t want to give birth again. Yet I still find myself hoping...

🙏🏽💚