That would be like blaming a mom or dad for taking there child to daycare and the child getting molested or worse it's not the parents fault at that point

First off the guy who was babysitting was a family friend for years second off he was babysitting with his girlfriend there and 3rd it's low as hell to blame someone for their kids being molested not once did I know he was going to do that or else I never would have left all 3 of my kids with him I still have full custody of the other daughter that was molested by him. And never did my ex husband have anything to do with our kids until my youngest daughter turned 2 and after my son turned one so no he ain't no saint at all so try blaming someone else other than the one who took care of her kids and did everything for them no matter what

@kimborocks, one of the perks of moms groups- odds are someone has been through it. Always ask! This is why I was asking a bunch of Qs. Go file and at least get your visitation squared away. Then worry about fighting back on custody.

Well see I didn't know how to do any of that

@kimborocks, all you have to do is go to the clerk of the court and ask what papers to file for contempt. They’ll hand them to you, fill them out and you hand them back with a filing fee. You don’t need an attorney. They’re usually very helpful.

Because I was trying to hire a lawyer because I don't know how to do all this

So why haven’t you filed for contempt yet?

They are done with the investigation and everything my oldest daughter is done with her therapy and the dude is in jail

Are there social workers working on things and police investigations for the molestation? Perhaps he is being told to wait until the investigation is complete since you hired the sitter and it was in your home? It sounds like it goes bigger and deeper than him being an ass.

Okay I was getting my kids like I was supposed to until they got molested and now I don't get to see them unless he says so he doesn't let me know the Dr appointment for either of my kids and the dogs where in the house at night because it was cold but they are outside now and they didn't use the bathroom much in the house to begin with but because it smelled like pee and poop when that women came in even though the house was clean that's what they used against me in court and if I would have had the dfcs worker who came into my house testify on my behalf then he never would have gotten my kids

@kimborocks, I’m just trying to understand- I’d have the same questions if a Dad was saying this. I’m wondering how can he prevent you from showing up?

Do your dogs go to the bathroom in the house often?

All you have to do is file contempt with the court if he denies you and that will help your case. As long as you can prove you showed and he denied.

He didn't have anything all because a women came into my house that morning before I got up to mop my house is smelled like pee and poop from the dogs

He won't let me see them at all now he won't show up to let me have the kids or anything

@kimborocks, so if you pick them up and drop them off how is he denying? And the judge shouldn’t say you have to prove things- he would have to prove what he said is true. Did he have documentation saying this?

Where’s your older son?

I call them or message them 3 times a day I ask about appointments I ask about how they are doing and everything he doesn't talk to me he makes her talk to me and on top of that if I ask to spend time with my kids I get denied by him and then he takes the kids and does the same thing I was going to do with them yes I still have my oldest daughter because of who her father is an no not once have I neglected to do my job as a mother and ask about my kids or try to take care of them he is doing all this just to show who has the power all because he is in the army

Yes I ask about it all and I am the one who picks them up from them and drops them off I was the one doing it all and the judge told me all I had to do was have the dfcs worker who came to my home all I need was her report or her there at court and I would have custody because he didn't have the means to prove me unfit as a mother but since I didn't have any witnesses about my home or anything he had to side with him even when he didn't want to

@kimborocks, it’s not that easy to change a custody agreement. If you’re not even taking them when it’s time for visits, they’re going to be less inclined as well. Do you show up at every pickup time?

Do you ask when the appointments are? Do you put in your side of the effort? Haircuts are not usually something that needs to be reported, fyi.

If you don’t have documentation proving you’re trying and he’s denying or he’s not telling you if you’re asking- his argument is stronger. If you’re not showing up to pick them up, his argument is stronger.

I didn't mind the hair cut it was the fact that he doesn't bother to tell me anything not even Dr appointment or anything and it says it in our court ordered paperwork that he has to make the decision with me

Technically he didn't prove me unfit all I have to do is have the judge ruling overturned and then have the dfcs worker who checked out my house and everything and then the judge will swap custody because I have had them since birth until the divorce

My husband has full custody of his kids. As their full time step mom I make decisions on the kids hair cuts and schedule their various medical appointments when needed. I raise them. I don't ask their mom how she wants the kids hair cut because she isn't the one raising them, not the one having to deal with their hair daily. Maybe some folks think that's wrong. I don't care. It's not in the "court papers" that she be included in hair cut or clothing decisions.

@kimborocks, it specifies hair cuts? Usually that’s for big decisions- not minor things like that. And that basically means he gets the say on everything. I’d get that out of the court order when you have reason to modify.

The court order says we have to make the decision together and if we can't come to an agreement on whatever it is then he has the final say so

@kimborocks, if he has primary custody, he gets to choose the haircuts and when to take them. Stinks on your end, but that’s how it is.

You don’t need a lawyer to go after a custodial parent for contempt. I’d focus on getting your visitation and proving you’re fit during that time.

@laniejay I am supposed to go Monday about it I am trying to find a good lawyer to get my kids back and get everything straightened out

My daughter got ahold of her bangs but he looked perfectly fine with the hair cut he had before this one it's cold outside and he was not thinking about the kids

@kimborocks, if he isn’t complying with the court ordered visitation, you need to go to court for contempt. Again- if you don’t stand up for yourself, you’re allowing him to keep the kids

What happened to the girls bangs? And I, personally, can not stand a shaved head on a toddler. Or any age kid. And that poor girl, gosh.

But while I was at work my babysitter molested my two little girls so that's why he has been keeping my kids from me

It's a long story when we went to court he blind sided me and I didn't have no witnesses or anything about my home and job and everything so he got majority custody and I have to pay child support and I am supposed to get the every Tuesday and Wednesday and then every other weekend

@kimborocks, do you not have a court order? I’d be damned if someone thought they’d keep my kids from me for 3 weeks. He can only do what you allow him to do... unless there’s a court order

File for child support/ custody ! He can’t keep your kids from you !

I get to visit my kids but only for a couple of hours then I don't get to them for about a week or more

Nope he keeps them from me all because he thinks he can

You haven’t seen your kids in 3 weeks?

No my ex husband

Wow! No way I would have been notified 3wks after!

@kimborocks your son did?.

@nitarose070793 because he wanted it that short

I would have been okay with it if I would have known about it this was done over 3 weeks ago

OMG why did they cut their hair?!

Ummm im guessing youre upset