Advice & opinions? Here’s the thing, my mother & I were so close when I was a teen & after I had my…
Advice & opinions?
Here’s the thing, my mother & I were so close when I was a teen & after I had my first two... then she moved back to Cleveland after she moved my sister & I here for nearly 8-10 years. She never calls me-I have to call her. She doesn’t visit me & says it’s because she hates it here plus she hates my husband. What she fails to see is that she’s cutting off relations with me, my sister & her grandchildren then blames ME! Like I should pack up my 4 sons, leave my husband at home (because he’s NOT welcome) and drive 2 1/2-3 hours to see her! Am I wrong cuz I feel like she should be coming to see us? Then again my mom don’t even call on mine or my boys birthday anymore... I feel like she wants me to be as miserable as she is. Then she’ll tell me “I don’t even want to tell anyone at work that I have kids & grandkids because I never see them.” Ok, why is that MY fault. I ask her to compromise with me like sometimes I visit & sometimes she visits-but no, she says “ I did it all & I had 2 kids.” WELL IM ABOUT TO HAVE 5.
* need to vent. Help me out ladies cuz I still love my mother. I used to need her & sometimes I still do & in the end she’s never there...
Jaz·
Wow that must be tough. It's really upsetting when family acts that way. If she's not willing to compromise you either have to be the one to put in all the effort, or just let her be. It's definitely a difficult situation to be in (I have a family member like that) but it's not worth stressing. It's her loss. I'm sorry love 😞
Brittney ღ Wulff·
Мама четверых детей, беременна
@jleona, it’s hard. I let her be but it makes me mad that she drug my sister & I out here to BFE and then after all the years passed of us adjusting to living here SHE mived away. She left us. I HAVE gone to see her but dealing with 4 young rambunctious boys is just too hard on them. I honestly feel like we just aren’t enough to her anymore. Plus my sister went through some hard core drug addiction because of this & my mom isn’t a good support system for her. What’s sad is no matter what I say about how I feel she will twist it around so much that she ends up right in the end & again I have to be the “understanding child”
LEO Wifey·
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine such drama with a mom you were so close to once. How are you and your sister? Can you lean on her for support?
How often do you expect her/does she expect to see your family? Like, I'm really close with my family but we also live many hours away - so we see each other in person on holidays and special occasions. And that's enough - we all understand that covering the distance is tough. So maybe expectations around visit frequency with gma needs a change.
That said, if mom's being sour, stick to your family first, momma. Gma will either come around or be bitter about something she has complete control over. You don't have to feel too bad just because she's unhappy. As an adult, she's making her own choices here, too. She can't rely on you to make her happy - that is way too much to put on someone.
sherry S·
@bwulff88 sorry your going thru this...Our mom's have inner issues too..My mom's parent's died when she was 11 and within 3 month's and 1 day of each other.she was never motherly or grandmotherly she didn't deal with her pain,loss,life issues...i have gotten over it..It made me a loving, nurturing mother ! I'm close to all my son's and in the future I want to be in my grandchildren life...i moved out at 16..grew up fast. At times I've lived down the street from her,she makes no effort to spend time with me or my oldest sister and her kids..my middle sister lives with her had no kids,, a dog my mom watches all the time and they have a toxic relationship..once we have kids sorry my kid's come first always before anyone..my dad and I were super close when he passed away I lost a mother and father in him he always did things with his 3 daughter's and all his grandchildren I'm grateful