What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives -Rupi Kaur

What is stronger than the human heart

which shatters over and over

and still lives

-Rupi Kaur

My heart has shattered over and over a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times since your absence from this cruel world. Each passing year is harder than the last without you here. There’s an empty spot in our hearts and lives as the world keeps moving, when I’ve wished it to stop, if even for a moment. Life went on but it was never the same again. I miss you and I love you. Save me one of those armpit hugs I’d always complained about (and most certainly took for granted). I hope to see you one day. 🖤 For the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you.

Two days ago grandpa joined you, James. I know you guys were thrilled, as you guys were the closest. Please watch over us as we try to cope with all of this raw pain.

It’s so strange to have a grudge over an word on a calendar but if I’m being completely honest, I detest October. I thought I did before but now, I truly cannot stand what was once my favorite month. It just brings me a rush of pain, a fresh reminder that all I have left are very few pictures and memories with the inability to make new ones with you. Grandpa died two days before your three year dod anniversary. While I am happy he doesn’t have to go through the pain of it anymore the disgusting selfish part of me wishes he were still here. I feel broken and I feel devastated. This month has left my heart in ruins.