My boyfriend is so upset that I didn’t give our son his last name but I have 4 other kids that has my last name I didn’t want to make him the only one with a different last name. Is that selfish of me? Or should he just understand. We not married
My daughter has my husbands last name but at the time he was only my fiance when she was born. I believe if you're with the father and he is apart of the babies life he deserves his child to have his last name. That is just my opinion. You do what you please but I think he has every right to be upset that his child wont have his last name just because you want all your kids to have yours.
@stephanie_wenning, thank you for your opinion we should be enjoying our new baby especially after having a loss 2 yrs ago it doesn’t make him any less his father
You can always change the last name to his down the road. I know someone that did changed their daughters name to her husband name when she turned 4. Always an option down the road if he's still upset about it then. But as of now, he shouldn't be so upset, focus on the new baby instead of a name!
@nervousmommyca, I agree I don’t have my dad last name and my dad was a great father and he didn’t make a big deal about it and it didn’t make him feel less of a father
My son has my last name, because we aren't married, I felt like it would be easier. However if we get married I would change noahs last name too. However I'm stuck...not sure if I want my last name for this one or his... Or to hyphenate? I think that'd be too long 😂
My fiancé and I weren’t together when I gave birth to our daughter so I hyphenated. Once we get married next month I’ll probably take my name off. But it’s both of your child and if he is involved I feel like you guys should talk it over. That’s just my opinion!
I don’t give my kids my last name because one day when I marry I won’t have my maiden name anymore! I have two older kids from a previous relationship and they both have there fathers name and he isn’t in there life but regardless they are who they are and it’s in there blood.. But at the end of the day there your kids and it’s your choice😘
Something that important should have been discussed prior to baby being born. That's way more of a personal conversation between the two of you, no other opinion should matter but since you asked, without me knowing the entire story I'll just say, he should've had his dad's last name. It's more about legacies with men than anything else. It makes logical since.
I definitely agree with what you did , I was the kid with the different last name from all of my siblings and it kind of made me feel like I didn’t belong of course it wasn’t true but from the mind of a kid .....
@xomarylee, Well to each their own.
&’ my comment about “ putting a ring on it “ if they were married the decision wouldnt have been only entirely up to her, they would have needed to compromise prior to signing the documents. thats all.
It is no more important for your son to have his name than yours. Only using the mans name is outdated and sexist. If you want to do it great, but if you don't it is 100% as important for the kids to have your name. Just because he has a penis doesn't make his name better or more important.
Definitely not selfish relationships are all about compromise so maybe you both can come to an agreement on hyphenate the last name and adding his.
@rndmshtt, well to answer her question it would i think it would be selfish depending on the situation. If his not involved in his child life like he should then no it’s not selfish. I just commented because you made it seem like should of put a ring on it. What for? A dads rights are as equal as a mothers and should always be unless one lacks in taking care of the child...
I dnt think that's selfish at all. If that's what you want to do, I dnt see anything wrong with it. Did he help with picking out the first and middle?
@xomarylee, She was only asking about whether it was right for her to choose for her child not to carry’s the fathers last name.
Nowhere did she and i talk about whether the dad deserves to be in the child’s life.
So in my opinion just because your other children have your last name is not an excuse to use so baby dont have to have fathers last name sorry not sorry
I jist feel like its selfish to give baby my last name because my other 2 have my last name the only reason my first 2 babies have my last name is because they have sperm doners my finace is the closest thing my son has ever had to a dad and we already discussed about him adopting my son when we get married i belive as long as the man is making the effort to be there they deserve a say because there are some grimey women out here who keep the kids away from the father and they try everything in their power to be a dad
@rndmshtt, i know by law it’s “her right” but if his a great dad I believe he deserve to be part of his baby life regardless if they are married or not.
@cierralhoffman, that’s why my babies have and will have his last name.. because his a great dad ❤️ he deserves to be part of them in that way.
I’m not married and all 3 of my kids have their fathers last name lol but I see no harm in all your kids having your last name it’s your Choice hun
My first 2 have my last name because they are dead beats im engaged to my current baby dad and im choosing to give this baby his last name only because weather me and hubby work out or not he will always be there for baby
@bigmama18, i’m just saying from my perspective being legally a single mother at the end of the day i do have those rights unless he fights me in court. then we would have to do what the court says.
and my daughter has my SO’s last name. because we do plan on getting married and we both agreed on that decision by ourselves without having it even be a discussion.
but being married, would completely just knock out the entire arguement if he realllly wanted his say.
I really don’t think the kids is going to grow up thinking why don’t I have their last name and be sad about it. You could explain “you got your dads last name” but it depends. I’m not married to my dude and his the father of my first and soon to be of my second. If we ever separated they’ll know “you got daddy’s last name because his always there for you regardless” NOW if the dad is not supportive or doesn’t care enough to be a real dad then that’s where your name comes in place “your dad isn’t there for you.. so he doesn’t deserve his last name to be yours” that’s just my opinion.
I don’t think having other kids with your name should of been the reason not too. Especially if those kids aren’t his. If you wanted him to have your last name and so did he you could of Hyphenated it. However if you decide to get married you can change it.
You shouldn’t feel guilty. As a single mother you have the right to solely choose your child’s last name. If any time in the future your child wants to change his or her last name to his father’s then thats his / her decision as well.
Should have put a damn ring on it if he wanted a say 🤣
@rndmshtt, so only married men have a say in their child’s name 🙄