Question for you mommies who have had multiple miscarriages.!

Is it odd for me to acknowledge the first baby I lost more than the second baby? I mean of course it hurts like hell but I feel like I was more attached to my baby Jacob (#1) because I seen him on ultrasounds I heard his heartbeat and with (#2) I didn’t even get an ultrasound before I miscarried and when I went to the ER they told me it was a very early miscarriage baby wasn’t even there.! And personally I think I mentally prepared myself for this miscarriage this time and I didn’t let myself get attached because I was scared of it happening again.! This miscarriage has really been hard mostly because it has made me miss my baby Jacob more than ever.!