Khadijah Winkelman
dijahhh
Khadijah Winkelman·Мама троих детей

*trigger warning...sexual assault survivor post*

With all this victim blaming going on that I see all over social media, and people at work asking why people wait so long to come out, I just want to say this...

I was aged 5-6 when I was touched. 3 men 1 woman. 2 of my babysitters sons, my uncle, and a girl at my 6th birthday sleepover. My mom knew about 1 brother, but I never spoke up about the other. She talked to the older one, and while he never touched me again, it still felt like this is it? He just gets talked to? I mean, I guess. So why tf would I say anything about the rest of them? My cousins said I was lying when my uncle did it. Said if anything LITTLE OLD ME provoked him. This is the kinda crap that makes victims wait to speak out or never speak out at all. I literally said to my friend just now I didn’t wanna make my mom feel bad, so I don’t think I’ll ever talk about it. I AM STILL WORRIED ABOUT HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT M Y ABUSE!!!!!!!! I’m 23 almost 24 now. THINK OF HOW MANY GOT DAMN YEARS IN SILENCE I’VE ENDURED AND I AM STILL WORRIED ABOUT THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS.

Check on your kids, your nieces and nephews, friends, sisters, brothers, etc. Let them know that you’ll believe them if they want to speak up, eventually...but hopefully they won’t have experienced any abuse to speak up about.

#BelieveSurvivors

(Sorry if this isn’t appropriate, delete if not allowed. I don’t get on here enough to know what is and isn’t acceptable anymore...sorry.)

29.09.2018
216

Комментарии

rebecca33
rebecca ·Мама троих детей

@dijahhh omg yea raising girl here too had nightmares and panic attacks when I found out she was a girl... like why why a girl, can I protect her am I strong enough for her.... yes might be wrong I worry more with her than my boys but hey I cant help it

30.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
dijahhh
Khadijah Winkelman·Мама троих детей

It’s really scary! Raising kids is already scary enough, then you mix in the other stuff that no one wants to even think about and you’re like petrified!

16.11.2018 Нравится Ответить
dijahhh
Khadijah Winkelman·Мама троих детей

@xxoceanbabexx, @feeneythebashingqueen, @mommytobe2k17, @rebecca33, @jleona, @dass72608, @mother.of.2, @veemndz, thank you all for your kind words and being brave enough to share your stories. I’ve made a promise to myself that i have to go to counseling or at least start looking for a counselor in the month of October. I’m raising a little girl and I have to be strong for her and show her that it’s okay to speak up. ♥️

30.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
veemndz
VeeMndz·Мама четверых детей

I had to assist my abusers wedding. I am at peace with myself after 20yrs, but the day of his wedding (Sept.1st.2018) I couldn't help but to feel sorry for his wife. I didn't feel happy for them, I didn't get near him, only congratulated her. He abused all of my cousins (boys and girls from my generation) and we still talk about it among us. His wife isn't able to have kids and I think that was just a sign from God. He will never have the satisfaction of having a child because God knows the danger he will be putting that baby in. I'm sorry this happened to you. I identify with you 100%

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
dass72608
Sandra Ariann·Многодетная мама (5 детей)

@mother.of.2 it's so disheartening for us to feel that way, but we do because you hear more about "oh she didn't say anything when it happened, why Now? So it must not be true". Smdh it's so sad.

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
rebecca33
rebecca ·Мама троих детей

@mother.of.2 you're very welcome I still see my offender unfortunately is part of the family and everyone wants to pretend it didnt happen needless to say my kids dont stay with anyone I feel .might let them around this person without me there

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
gorjess.momx3
🍀👑Jessica💋💍💕·Многодетная мама (5 детей)

@xxoceanbabexx @feeneythebashingqueen @mommytobe2k17 @rebecca33 @jleona @dass72608 @dijahhh

You are all very strong women, thank you for sharing and giving me comfort that I'm not in this alone.

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
gorjess.momx3
🍀👑Jessica💋💍💕·Многодетная мама (5 детей)

I am in the same boat as well, I have never spoke up either. Idk why I'm the one that's scared like if I did wrong but I think he made me feel that way so that I won't say anything.

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
dass72608
Sandra Ariann·Многодетная мама (5 детей)

We were actually having this convo at work Thursday. I too have been through something that I used to be terrified to speak of for fear of not being believed or being blamed for it.

My oldest son is the result of being raped. I told my coworkers, who are all men btw, that women handle these things differently. Some are comfortable revealing their abuse immediately, some can't speak on it for years. That doesn't make any one more or less true than the other. That shit is absolutely traumatizing, and for me personally, it's been 22 years, and even though I'm ok with speaking about it with others, it still to this day puts me in a panic and I usually end up having an anxiety attack and can't stop crying about it.

We don't talk about it because people almost always find a way to comfort the aggressor, and blame the victim. Who the hell would want to open up about this kind of thing in a world where there seems to be a victim shaming mentality???

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
jleona
Jaz·Мама троих детей

I'm so sorry girl. I can relate to this all too well 💔

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
rebecca33
rebecca ·Мама троих детей

I know how you feel my mom believed me and was court but they clearly didnt believe me as he still walks free to this day and that was just the 1 person let alone the other 2 that did it later on after the fact... still never said anything to anyone

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
mommytobe2k17
Ja'Daya Cope·Мама двоих (6 лет, 8 лет)

I know what you are going through. From the age of 6-11 I was abused by 1 man. Not that my mom didn't listen but I was scared to say anything and that I thought I was protecting my other family members. He would always tell me if I didn't do it he would kill my mom and abuse my brothers and sister. Me being naive and so caring I listened but he lied to me. He got my little brother too and it crushed my soul when I found out. That's when I finally got the courage to tell. But also little did I know he was after my cousin too but she was brave enough to say something quick. The same night I told my mom was the same night my brother told her too (but I didn't know) and as well as my cousin told her mom. He was arrested an hour later got out 7 years later and till this day I see him walk the street and stare at me with this look like he stole something so precious from me. And he did, my innocence. No woman or child should have to endure that. I'm 21 now and still go to counseling because sometimes I feel uncomfortable sexually with myself and my SO. I shouldn't have to panic to give myself to the person I love because someone forced me to when I didn't even know what it was at the time .

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить
feeneythepotstirrer
Thisisfeeney·Мама двоих (8 лет, 10 лет)

I too am going through something similar. Something that happened years ago that I’ve never told anyone but several ladies on here. No one in my life knows. I am going to be going to a counselor to heal from it. All I can say is I hope you find peace. It’s an awful thing to carry around.

29.09.2018 Нравится Ответить