so. there's this guy.
we're not together. I like him tho. we talk about all kinds of things, when we do talk. I haven't really had that with anyone. he doesn't make me feel bad about myself. he knows I have 2 kids. he knows they're my priority. he knows my current situation. he knows I'm struggling emotionally. he's the sweetest.. he says he wants to build a relationship and asks what I would wanna do about it. give it a shot or pass. I feel like a dick because I want to try, but I have so many things rushing through my head telling me not to do it. I have a behavioral health counselor that I see once a week and we're working on getting me to not be like this.. well, I told her how I'm a negative "what if" thinker and I can't stop it. she told me to try thinking positive "what ifs." like, rather than thinking "what if he's playing with me?" I should think "what if he's serious about me?" but I can't do it. 😭😭😭 I don't want him thinking I don't care about him or anything. I want him to be happy, like I do. I want to be happy too. I deny myself everything good because I'm worried about the worst. help me ladies. I don't know what I'm doing..
*we met years ago when an ex cheated on me, he was his friend back then. I don't remember if we met face to face since it was nearly 10 years ago. so, everything is via Facebook.*
Комментарии
He’s not going to wait forever, when he finds someone else it’ll take the place of your friendship and they you won’t have him in your life at all. Life’s a risk and if you don’t take any you’ll never be happy.
Life is all about being happy from within. You do deserve to be happy. Life is about taking chances but I wouldn’t take it if I’m not truly happy with myself.
Take care of yourself first and don’t rush things. There’s nothing wrong with being friends first.
@messybunmom
that's the problem, he seems to want me to say "I want to be with you." when I feel like I have to say "I don't think that's a good idea." even though I do think we could be happy.. I just keep telling myself I don't deserve happiness. I don't get to just find someone to make me happy. I don't get anything I want without a price..
@bbmillay263
as long as he's happy, I'll be fine. He deserves happiness and if he finds that somewhere and it's not me, I support it. I won't wedge myself in tryna be with him. I couldn't do that to someone.
If you’re interested in him, tell him that. If you’re scared and interested just let him know that you like him but you want to develop a trusted friendship base first and slowly go from there.
Sounds like he wants a forward answer.
Maybe it is best to stay friends then. With depression and anxiety it can be easy to become dependent on that person. Once you finally open up to them anyway. But it's happened to me where i wasn't ready like you. Then when that person tried to pull back my mental health spiraled out of control. Another thing that can happen.
@kambam I regret not taking chances too, but I'm terrified of putting myself out there. I don't think he would hurt me, but I've been wrong before.. many times. I have depression and anxiety. on my good days, I try to get up the courage to try. then it hits me hard. I start asking myself a million questions, get scared, and end up trying to keep it as a friendship.
I met my bf on Xbox live, I lived in Virginia and he lived in San Diego and we talked for about a year or so before we started a long distance relationship and even after we did I tried to end it because I felt like I was too messed up and felt like I was gonna take him down with me. I told him how I was feeling and why I wanted us to not be together at the time and he responded with a long message but it ended with "Don't you realize you're giving me the life I want?" We finally met a few months later, spent a week together and then I moved to California with him and here we are, almost 3 years later with our daughter. When I'm with him he makes me feel like my flaws (in my eyes) don't exist.
You gotta ask yourself if he makes you happy enough to pursue a relationship with him further. He's pursuing you already, it's hard I know but you have to see that he's already accepted you and all your flaws and they aren't stopping him.
Well, for situations like this:
Worst case scenario you end up alone after trying
OR you let yourself go, open up and take the risk. Doesnt mean you have to get married, just take a chance and HAVE FUN. Life is too short. I regret not taking more chances in life already.
ever since he mentioned watching to "build a relationship," I've been just waiting for tomorrow to come around so I can talk to my counselor. see what she thinks because she knows more about me than anyone in my life does right now. nothing against you ladies, but I just don't wanna rush into something that's gonna backfire. I did that with my kids dad and clung to him because I thought that I didn't deserve to be happy so I should be happy that he took an interest, but he broke me apart slowly and I let him. i don't wanna make that mistake again so I don't even try. I don't know HOW to date or anything. my relationship history was mostly virtual until my BD. and I want to SEE someone not just talk to. ya know?