SLEEP TRAINING So.. we hired a sleep consultant to try to help our baby soothe himself to sleep and we got a sleep…

If he’s only 4 months old that’s way too young to be doing this. My midwife told me that at that age the manipulative part of their brain hasn’t developed yet and that even when they stop crying (which is apparently natural instinct kicking in that can also be observed in baby deers if they lose their parents their body shuts down after crying for so long I order to protect themselves from any potential danger). As this is the case, although your baby is quiet, it’s shown that their levels of cortisol (stress hormone) actually continues to rise and if levels become too high it can lead to slight brain damage and developmental delays.

I bedshared with our 18 month old.. we finally got him out of our bed when he was 10 months old.. we started out with the crib mattress on the floor on my side of the bed. I would lay with him on that mattress until he fell asleep. Then once he was asleep I’d get in my bed. Some times I’d have to get back down there with him. Sometimes I even fell asleep down there. Eventually he got comfortable with that and I moved to only holding his hand from my bed. Then we put his mattress in the crib and I’d hold his hand outside of it. I had to do this with naps too. He still wakes up sometimes for a sippy of milk but not every night.

@laniejay Again, there isn't a right nor wrong way to parent- as long as you have your child's best interest... Everyone comes from different backgrounds and therefore their beliefs can be different as well... Studies change all the time- so therefore I rather use my common sense and continue to do what I feel comfortable with doing and what I know has certainly worked for me in the past... At the end of the day- no matter if we are parenting our child the same or not, doesn't make one better than the other... Unless you're Jesus- nobody is perfect... We're all on this app together- so I would hope that would put us all in the category of having our children's best interest... So you parent your way and everyone else will parent their way.... It's ok to give your opinion of advice- but don't try to make like you have the only correct answer- bc there isn't one... 😉

@emmamarch16th oh wow! Thanks for the info! I didn't know. I think we are going to wait a little more...

If he’s only 4 months old that’s way too young to be doing this. My midwife told me that at that age the manipulative part of their brain hasn’t developed yet and that even when they stop crying (which is apparently natural instinct kicking in that can also be observed in baby deers if they lose their parents their body shuts down after crying for so long I order to protect themselves from any potential danger). As this is the case, although your baby is quiet, it’s shown that their levels of cortisol (stress hormone) actually continues to rise and if levels become too high it can lead to slight brain damage and developmental delays.

@danielzamor2007, there’s definitely wrong ways to parent and unsafe ways to parent. Great thing about science is that it’s not speculation ☺️ facts are facts. I choose to parent to the best of my ability with the information we have today. I fed my first at 6 weeks with cereal in a bottle because at the time it was recommended. Know better, do better not ignore facts and be willfully ignorant.

@laniejay Studies change all the time... Again, as long as the parents have their child's best interest that's all that matters... Children come with no instructions- parenting is based on beliefs, whatever you're comfortable with, and whatever works... Science also speaks of evolution -which would mean that we came from gorillas lol- and I don't believe that speculation!!! 😉 There's no wrong or right way to parent as long as you're just trying to do your best...

@girlmom. He does have a routine, we believe in him getting the rest he needs, no matter how... We'll see what we end up doing. Thank you!

@beach..bum it sounds like a great idea! I shared it with my husband. We might give it a try.

I bedshared with our 18 month old.. we finally got him out of our bed when he was 10 months old.. we started out with the crib mattress on the floor on my side of the bed. I would lay with him on that mattress until he fell asleep. Then once he was asleep I’d get in my bed. Some times I’d have to get back down there with him. Sometimes I even fell asleep down there. Eventually he got comfortable with that and I moved to only holding his hand from my bed. Then we put his mattress in the crib and I’d hold his hand outside of it. I had to do this with naps too. He still wakes up sometimes for a sippy of milk but not every night.

@danielzamor2007, science disagrees with you.

@laniejay Not all times do babies "need something" when they cry... I must say- I strongly disagree with you on that! Sometimes they just want to be held- it's not always realistic for a mom to hold her baby everytime they cry... So in that case- when you know they're fed, have a clean diaper on and nothing could be wrong- there's nothing wrong with allowing the baby to cry for a little so you can do what you need to do.... I didn't want my baby to think I was going to pick her up and hold her every time she cries... I have a household to run with 3 other kids in it... Its healthy for them to be able to self soothe... But again- as I previously stated it's whatever works for the parent and whatever they're comfortable with..

I’m a professional nanny. I have sleep trained many kids. If you need tips please message me.

Sleep training that young seems a little odd to me😣

Try laying him in the crib for a nap when you know he’s tired, but not fussy. Rub his belly, in between his eye brows etc. please don’t let him cry. You can also try a co sleeper by the bed or sleeping with the sheet to the crib for a night and then putting it on his bed so it smells of you.

Babies need more than full bellies and clean diapers. There is a lot of development and that comes through touch. They have social and emotional needs that are hugely important to their development. I cringe when I hear: “when I know their fed and changed and don’t need anything.” If there crying- of course they need something! 4 months means a huge leap, growth spurt and sleep regression. Download the wonder weeks app. It does get better, hang in there.

@argiemom29 hope you find what works for you mama. We're all different parents with different children.

You’re son is only four months old and with him being so young he’s not met to sleep through the night , and the fact that your BF , BF babies are very demanding and what your are experiencing is normal , my son was up every 15 mins wanting to eat , he didn’t start sleeping through the night till about 7months that’s because I got him on a daily routine and he got used to it , he is now about to be two and still co sleeps no problem with that , no sleep for moms is normal I’m sorry but I don’t think your sleep trainer is good for a four month year old .. since you BF you may want to also try putting a little hankey in ur bra and wear it for the day , then at night place it inside his onezie so he’s able to smell your scent this does help it’s a technic nicu uses .. he helps sooth the baby and let’s them know you’re near ..

Not struggling as bad but we moved and she seems to sleep now which was the biggest concern. Now time to get her out of our bed

@argiemom29, I’m sorry hopefully we get some sleep soon!!! We definitely need it!!

@argiemom29 You're going to get tons of strong opinions on here- but keep in mind- there is no wrong or right way... It's whatever works for you and whatever you feel comfortable with... With that said- I'm all for sleep training... I also- am a firm believer in the "cry it out method" WHEN I KNOW BABY IS FED, CHANGED AND NOTHING COULD BE WRONG... With all this said- my son I rocked to sleep nightly, I didn't allow him to cry it out, and I gave in to every squeak holler and cry he made... Which left me exhausted- physically and mentally... I would read books I would take people's opinions and in the end I still had a baby that wouldn't sleep... Finally I spoke with my pediatrician and she told me there's no instructions when it comes to babies there's only advice and opinions that one's will give.... With that said try the cry-it-out method- try whatever you haven't tried before until you succeed your goal... So I went against my belief and others and I tried the cry-it-out method with my son which involved the sleep training... It was one long week but- after that week I was able to get sleep and my sanity back... When my daughter was born I told myself after 4 months I'm not going to give into every single cry- I will lay her in her crib and I will let her cry it out then I will soothe her and then I will try it again until she understands that's where she sleeping and thats it!!! Luckily my daughter by 2 months was sleeping through the night... My goal was to have her sleeping in her crib by 4months... So I started putting her in her crib- it took a few days and that was it... Remember this is just what worked for me- keep in mind nobody has the right answers for anything when it comes to parenting... As long as you have your child's best interest and you're trying your best at parenting that's all that matters... I do take people's opinions and advice into consideration but at the same time at the end of the day it's what works for me and what I'm comfortable with... Either way you're doing just fine mama!

@argiemom29 you're welcome! I was on the same boat. I started with naps then when she was napping in her crib moved on to nighttime.

@argiemom29 at first she would id stand over the crib and soothe her she go back to sleep. Now she's sleeping through the night. I don't breastfeed though so idk if that makes a difference at all. At first she was just taking naps in it then i transitioned her to it at bed time. She just got better.

@kristcoleman88 doesn't she wake up when you put her down? I'm just hoping everything falls into place at some point...

@mombie. I'm so sorry. I'm going through that as well. I can't get any sleep. It's really hard.

@argiemom29 no never! I never let her cry for long. I rock her to sleep then lay her down in the crib. Shes asleep before she goes in the crib. I don't just let her cry i just can't.

@lpheartsyou that's what our sleep plan is about but I know he will cry and I don't want him or us to go through that. 🤦😭

@marly.rose thanks for your comment! I don't want him to sleep through the night. I just want him to sleep there and not in my bed.

@argiemom29 I'm not sure if someone already mentioned this but there's a sleep regression at 4 months old so I wouldn't sleep train then. Also, I'm sure you know this, babies digest breast milk pretty fast so I would just continue feeding. Lastly, I'd do one thing at a time. Having him sleep in his crib first then see about sleeping through the night.

@kristcoleman88 You just put her in her crib and let her cry? Because I put him in his crib but he does cry and of course I go to him, so there is no chance for it to get better on its own

@laniejay I've put him in his crib for naps but I always go to him when he cries.

Im not fond of it. I agree he's too young. That age their sleeping habits still aren't really down pact if that makes sense. I guess it doesn't hurt to try but i personally wouldn't waste my time on a sleep trainer. If i had some kind of issue id just look it up lol. My girl had a hard time at first in her crib it got better on its own. I just kept putting her there. She was in another sleep thing and had to be moved to get crib.

@argiemom29, do you put him in there for naps during the day? How does he do for naps and where is he?

@laniejay or at least 2 hours in his crib! He doesn't sleep there at all. You know what I mean?

@laniejay Tag me please! I understand he can't sleep through the night. I'd be fine with him sleeping at least 3 hours in his crib.

I wouldn’t do this until he fell asleep maybe for a little bit 30 minutes tops just to get him started but he is still really young to do the cio method in my opinion I know we’re tired!! But I think it’s gonna mess him up even more doing it all night the more tired they are the harder they fight it and harder it is for them to fall asleep

@argiemom29, kooper only woke up once last night I was so shocked slept 5.5 hours woke up to eat than slept other 5.5 hours even slept in and I couldn’t sleep at all so I’m just in a bad mood today I’m so tired and exhausted and that was my chance to catch up on sleep finally and nothing😭😭😭 he hasn’t slept like that since he was 2-3 months old 😩

4 month olds are not meant to sleep through the night, they still need nourishment. Some babies burn through calories faster than others, which is why some can go without and others can’t.

Sleeping through the night is a neurological milestone that is perfectly normal not to reach until 5 years old. Some reach before and that is fine. Others don’t. It all depends on the child. All CIO teaches a child is that their needs will not be responded to and they give up. I can tag you in a post listing the detrimental affects.

It makes me very leery of this sleep trainer that they’d give you a plan for a 4 month old. Even sleep training advocates say no way before 6 months.

@lpheartsyou I'm aiming at getting one solid stretch every night, lol I'm fine with getting up twice or even three times as long as he is able to sleep in his crib for a few hours.

@teresha_h @mombie. How are you ladies doing? My babe is better than last week but still waking up very frequently to nurse. I still can't sleep well at night and if I get the chance to nap during the day because my MIL is here or my husband offers to stay with baby, I can't fall asleep. I'm exhausted🤪

Personally no, I would not sleep train a 4 month old. They’re still growing so rapidly and are very likely to still need nighttime feedings, even if they go awhile without them. Sleep training is a hot topic and you’re bound to get tons of different, very passionate, opinions. Good luck!