@rocilove4 No that's ok, I worded it incorrectly!

@emily526, sorry the way you said it and meant it like you were going to leave him so you basically had no choice but to leave him. I guess I read it wrong.

@sherrynygirl That's where I recommended he start looking. At the moment he's being very stubborn so we'll see. I told him he can either use this mistake as a way to grow and make himself better or he can continue down a path of self destruction. The ball really is in his court now.

@emily526 they have places that teach job skills and help them get a job

@sherrynygirl I'm very lucky I have wonderful parents, they can't stand my husband though which I understand why, especially now.

@emily526 I fully understand he needs a plan..should work out good if he wants a job or begin a career then now is his chance.. glad your parents are so supportive lucky

@sherrynygirl I'm seeing if there's anyone he can temporarily stay with, one of his siblings or something possibly. While I plan on sticking by him, I do think he may need a little help from an outside source. I would like for him to get a job and feel better about himself. I think because he is young and his military career is over, he never set himself up for after that. So he has no schooling, no prior jobs, etc. What he has said to me is that he feels like a failure. I am thinking if I can give him the opportunity to take care of himself a little bit he may start to thrive and become better. My parents are basically thrilled to hear the possibility of me and the girls coming to stay with them, and they are retired so have offered to watch both girls when I go back to work. My husband could then work full-time or go back to school and focus on what he wants for his future. He should be able to do that while being with his family, but obviously he wasn't capable. I'm also thinking this may be a way for me to see if he truly is feeling down about not having a job and helping out or if it was all just an excuse. I'll know if we have this temporary separation and he doesn't do anything constructive with it that possibly he really isn't the man I thought him to be.

@emily526 Yes!! Good idea!! Gods all about building and rebuilding families, individuals, the church etc.

@braindeadmama I got mine to watch it with me too lol. I was surprised he enjoyed it lol

@mhbb3, my husband loved it too. we were really into it for a long time 😂

@emily526 8 years you 2 have been together..He was a military man which means to me he has a big heart and although reserved (quiet type) it's a good thing! You don't want a man who loves the streets,drugs,partying,abusing you in any way! NOT many men can do what he does or what my man does stay home and raise THEIR children..except mine works in the evening once I am home from work and has been doing this when I went back to work when my last son was 5wks old.I also make more money than mine but,I have a career..So yes maybe your man feels he isn't the head of household/provider...But,he seems like a good guy(RARE these days) we all have faults...Is this forgivable in your eyes? I think personally he's going thru something and acting out on impulse... I've stuck by my man of 17 yrs thru plenty but,,,when his own family gave up I was there to see him stop doing drugs/no more jail trips / are we perfect no does he try his best.. ask yourself??You seem like a good woman do what's best FOR YOU and your chidren...I wouldn't put my man in the street unless you never plan to be with him...Are you able to move elsewhere together even if it's downsizing asap..since your neighbor s want him gone? Sorry 💓 hope things get better for you both

@emily526, he is ready to work on it and put himself together ? I mean does he have desire? Then maybe it’ll be better to do it... Really hope things work!

@angelinao Thank you for your input. I didn't clarify that I dont actually want to leave him permanently, I just meant a temporary separation physically (not mentally). I thought that way he could get himself together, with my support, and work on himself a little bit. My parents can help watch the girls while he does that.

@emily526, don’t think about those people. What they think is not important. Your shock is understandable, give yourself time and it’ll get easier. Talk to him. Maybe his not that happy that he doesn’t provide for his family. I have a feeling that’s not the only reason why you want to leave... I’d say think everything through. Don’t rush

@mhbb3 Funny you mentioned church. I was thinking since we would be living separately for some time that church may be a good place for us to come together. I thought we could start by all going to church together and that be our place to be with one another in the beginning and then as things progress and become better and hopefully he becomes more mentally stable we can add more time in together from there.