How would you guys feel if your husband drank every night between 6 and 12 beers with children in…

😢😢😢😢 my father considered himself a "functioning alcoholic" too, good father and hard worker... Until he had a stroke at 42yrs old.. You explained how he used to be to a T. He always worked and provided and never missed a day of work, but he drank every single night. I then could never have people over. He fell asleep in the computer chair every night. He was so MEAN once we got older and asked questions. I always HATED my dad, until he had his stroke and almost died... Which is sad to say but now he is a totally different person and he does not drink. Definitely not normal or okay. My mom dealt with this for 20yrs before he had a stroke so early and she threatened to leave if he ever drank again.

I would give an ultimatum of no drinking and therapy or divorce papers.

@babymay2016 I threaten him I'm going to leave a bunch. He also hates when I ask him questions. We also never have people over. Once he starts drinking, kids have to be in bed and the blinds have to be down.

@jack.ass, we are both going to separate therapists. I keep telling him to bring g up his drinking and he doesn't. I've also told him to go to AA and he just says he's not an alcoholic. Oh and his mom was an alcoholic. Not anymore. And most of the people in his family are drinkers

I want to leave but have no where to go and I have no money because since having twins I can't work anymore

@ladyfreyja if you threaten to leave a lot and then don't... it isn't a threat.

Everytime he says I need help with my depression and anger issue I turn around and say you need help to with your drinking and other problems. But he always says it's not about me I'm talking about you. He acts like he is so freaking perfect I can't stand it anymore. Everyone is acting like I'm the crazy one when he's the drunk. It all gets turned around on me. I've even told our lawyer and his mother that he drinks to much, but has anything been done about it, nope. It's all about me and my problems.

I don't even hang out with him when he drinks. I hang out in the master bedroom most night watching stuff on my tablet. I can't stand being around him when he's drunk. I don't even sleep with him. He grosses up the sheets with his alcohol sweats. Everything is stained yellow. It's gross

And because he's still passed out on couch I had to bring babies into my older sons room to feed them and play with them. Then when he gets up he will want sex or something. Just thinking of sleeping with a drunk grosses me out. Then he will get super mad when I say no

Personally I would tell him to fin some

Place to drink. We are not drinkers and drinking around kids is just a lil much but that is my personal feelings about it.

@ladyfreyja, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Is he just trying to escape reality? I am not sure how you can handle this besides sitting down and talking to him on how it is affecting you and the family.

Are you married? (I assume so since you've referred to him as "husband".) Do you share a bank account?

@icebergahead , I talk about it with him almost every week about how it affects me. Nothing is working. My escape from reality is video games crafts and walking through the woods. If this is him escaping reality it's a crappy way to do and unhealthy at that. If I told him to go drink somewhere else he would say that he's the one who works and pays the pills so he will drink where he likes.

@boosienana, I have no living family other then an aunt that lives in FL and is 75, also a half sister in Georgia that I don't know that well.

@britt. Yes. I have my own bank account and my name is also on his bank account

Well if you leave, why couldn't you use that money?

What money?

I have nothing in mine and we live paycheck to paycheck with what he makes. To many bills and to much beer. But if he put the money he spends on beer everyday away we could get a house. Wish he started doing that 6 years ago

The money from either bank account...

I see

Well the up side is, you're married. If you leave him, he'll more than likely have to give you some kind of financial support. Sounds like you may even be better off financially that way. But I couldn't have my babies growing up seeing behavior like that. Especially from their own father. He'd have to stop drinking, or leave, or I'd file for divorce.

@ladyfreyja, oh dear😭💖💖💖💖

He just came into the bedroom and he asked what my problem was. I said stop drinking so much, he said ok. I said you have been saying that for almost 6 years. Then goes but I'm not ur problem, Im not the reason why you are the way you are, I said yeah u are part of my problem. See this is what he does

Just be straight with him.... Tell him how it's not good for the kids to see it and be around it. Forget about you, (sorry, no offense, you do matter!) but he can't raise kids like that.

@britt. But he will say he drinks at night when they are asleep. And I say what if we need you in the middle of the night? Even with bith times I was pregnant he was still drinking all night. I said what if something happens to me. He said that's what ambulances are for. And I said ok then you are not coming with me, I don't want a drunk in the hospital with me

You're right! And even tho it's at night... They'll figure out what's going on... Especially as they get older. And let's not forget you take them to another room because dads drunk and passed out on the couch. It will affect your children. Give him an ultimatum before it gets worse.

I'm glad you guys agree we me for I have no one to advocate for me