@samilou91

I understand wanting to be there for who you love. But as a former user of 11 years I know how sick I was, how manipulative, how destructive, and how terrible it was for the people in my life. Especially my children. I personally feel when it comes to addiction it's all in or all out bc the middle ground is active use.

@mhbb3 I understand where she's coming from. It's very hard to just give up on someone. Not to get into a debate of choice vs disease. But at a certain point their brain gets rewired. Sometimes tough love works other times it doesn't. She agreed with me after she knew that we actually tried.

Fyi, I'm talking from a family experience.

@breemoore What are you talking about? If you are on drugs you are not present and you should not be around children at all.

What if were to overdose while caring for their kid? You must have somone in your life who is actively using drugs. This screams enabler.

You did the right thing. You can't serve too masters. If you are on drugs you can't be a good parent. If he's already lying again he's not ready. You aren't giving up on him you are setting a boundary. If I got back on drugs my so should absolutely get me away from him and the kids.

@samilou91, you did the right thing. There are 3 good reasons for divorce- addiction, abuse, and adultery. You can’t force someone to overcome addiction no matter how much you love them. They must do it on their own. Addiction hurts more than just the addict. It hurts everyone around them.

@samilou91, I completely agree.

@breemoore before we had our daughter I agreed with you to the fullest. I've gave him multiple chances I would take him to appointments I would pretty much be his cheerleader. It's cost me late bills to having the car repossessed to many other things. And who knows if I wasn't a mom things may have been different today. But I will always put my daughter first now.

@samilou91, First off, I would like to thank you for directing your response to me. Second, now that I fully understand the details of this situation, I think what you did was best. It will show him how serious your are after trying time after time; helping him with his addiction. I totally understand why you did what you did. I was under the impression it was his first rodeo and hasn’t gotten any serious help yet. Thank you for explaining the situation to me so that I could better understand.

@breemoore unfortunately he's been to several. Within our time together and before our time. He actually had to go to court because he overdosed before we met. He turned a 1year probation into 3 years. We spent $500 every month for a doctor and prescriptions. He stopped using the drug he was on and switched to another so he could still get high. I ask him what he needs from me and he tells me he doesn't know. It's been a very long battle that I haven't been able to win. And don't trust him around my 1 year old daughter because he has to watch her 9 hours for a day I work and is getting high during that time.

@dee2115, you can refer to my comment below.

Children always come first. However no one knows their true situation. Once again, everyone has their opinion. I directed MY opinion to the OP no one else. Once again without offending, I can care less what anyone has to say to my comment because it wasn’t about or for y’all. If the OP has something to say, she can say it to me freely. Thank ya 😊

@sarah.s, no one knows the true details of the situation. People can be on drugs and function perfectly well. They just have a problem. People can also be on drugs and put their responsibilities first. I’m not necessarily saying it’s ok to be around HIS child, once again depending on the situation no one knows. I’m simply giving my opinion. It’s cool and all you responded to MY comment.. however everyone is entitled to their opinion and I without offending you, can care less what you have to say regarding my comment.

@breemoore, I believe that when kids are involved it’s different and that Op did right by putting their daughter first.

Or even meeting up with him for lunch, dinner so he can see his girl and you but only if he isn't high.

^ He has to realize he needs help and want it. If he doesn't want to get help nobody can make him. He doesn't need to be around there toddler. I do suggest still talking to him daily on the phone, be there for him, etc.. but he doesn't need to be around his girl.

I don’t know the exacts of your marriage, and I don’t care to know because it’s not my business. However, marriage is life long. It’s a commitment that we vowed as wives. Better or worse, sickness and health. I know you’re probably so tired of it and it’s just emotionally stressful for you. But you guys are a family. At the end of the day. A person with an addiction needs serious help, and people giving up on them definitely doesn’t help their problem. Give it a couple days to relax your mind, call him and talk. Send him off to rehab. Not his mothers, uncles, grandmas, cousins house. To REHAB. Outpatient or in. Doesn’t matter. Get him the serious help he needs and support him as much as you can. Don’t take that little girls daddy from her ❤️ work thru it. It’ll be worth it in the end!

Addiction is hard. You're doing the right thing, even though it feels so bad.