So awhile back I posted about my grandmother having multiple myeloma and amyloidosis of the lung.…

So awhile back I posted about my grandmother having multiple myeloma and amyloidosis of the lung. She's gone through a few months of chemotherapy and to no avail, today we found out it has spread to her heart. The chemo has helped the multiple myeloma but somehow the amyloidosis is stronger. They're telling us if she chooses to continue the chemo which is making her sick of course, she may have a year. If she chooses to stop the chemo, she has maybe 6 months. She'll need hospice and if she's undergoing chemo they won't accept her. The last bit of her life she has left would be consumed by more days of feeling like complete shit which is no way to go. I'm completely devastated. My heart is in a million pieces. My heart hurts for her, for my mother, for my children. She's like a second mother to me. She's the glue that keeps our whole family together. She's always been the strong one and now she's losing this fight. I can't even function properly since finding out the news. I'm in shock. I'm upset. I'm angry. I'm hurting. I just don't get it. It's not fair. All I can keep thinking is how just last year around this time she was perfectly fine and now, she's in the ICU on a bipap machine because she's having trouble breathing by herself, doped up on Xanax because she's understandably having anxiety attacks and all she keeps wanting is to just see my girls. My heart hurts so badly for her. I just don't fucking get it.

I'm sorry this was so long and thank you for reading it all if you did. I just had to get this off of my chest somewhere.

Thank you all for your kind words. 💜 @bcsweetie, I've missed you guys too. I'll probably be on more. It's hard to talk about this with my family. Especially when the girls can sense something is wrong but they don't understand what. I don't even know where to begin with all of that. They're obviously too young to grasp the idea of someone just not being here anymore. 😔 And now she's saying sorry to all of us as if she asked for this to happen. I just cannot believe this is real. I'm going to see her in a little while so I'm sure it will hit me.

sm;)e06.08.2018

😓 I’m so sorry this is happening! I’ll keep you, your grandma and your family in my thoughts and prayers!! Lots of love and hugs! ❤️

BunsInMyOven08.08.2018

Oh @joffree., I’m so sorry! Such a hard and painful situation to be in. I hope you can enjoy every moment you have with her 💖

Alyssa08.08.2018

Thank you @phoebesmommy,. She's actually is going into surgery tomorrow afternoon to have a permanent drainage tube put in for her lung. The mass caused by the amyloidosis is continuously draining into her lung so they want to keep it clear. I'm scared and nervous as they've decided to do this under anesthesia. They took her off of the bipap machine since I've made this post and now they've put her back on it. She isn't breathing well at all on her own. I'm hoping she at least will get a few more months to be around to see my girls. That's all she's really worried about is them and that alone hurts so badly.

BunsInMyOven08.08.2018

@joffree., your poor gma. I’ll be praying for that surgery tmw afternoon. They def don’t want her getting pneumonia

Alyssa08.08.2018

So just a little update. She had the surgery done at 10 this morning. I guess they had some cancellations. Tube was put in and they drained 750 cc's from her lung. She's breathing much easier now and off the bipap. Hopefully she'll be able to go home sooner than later to be in the comfort of her own home.

BunsInMyOven08.08.2018

@joffree., that’s great news! Continued prayers and hugs and love to you and your girls 💞

So awhile back I posted about my grandmother having multiple myeloma and amyloidosis of the lung.…

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