I'm just now taking the time to think and I just realized I'm out of my mind. I'm not happy and not because I don't want to be because I do I'm just not. I feel like crap, I'm stuck staring into space and I can't help it. Don't get me wrong I'm happy I have my son I really am and I love him to death but I still can't seem to get out of space staring. It makes me feel like complete crap when I look at him and can't even smile because there's so much on my mind and going on. I just feel like I'm a crap mother and can't do any right by him. I feel like I'm failing him as a mother. Everything is getting to me and it sucks because I want to be able to give my son my undivided attention but I can't because I'm so worried about everything else going on. I need a break from everything. My brain needs to rest so I can get myself together and be a better mother. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost and confused and frustrated. I really don't want to fail him, I want to be the best mother I can be to him and I'm failing.