I cried last night. I mean I ugly cried. I felt alone and useless. I kept thinking to myself "it's likely my son will be the only child i ever have" and i couldnt stop being sad. So i cried. And my husband. I love that man so much. He didnt even know what i was crying about but he held me and assured me everything was going to be alright. He helped me get it together enough to get ready for bed. Then he held me all night long. He didnt ask anything of me he just held me. He made sure I knew he loves me and will always be there for me and that everything will be ok.